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08-12-13, 05:57 PM
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#1
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Member
Join Date: Aug-2013
Location: White Settlement
Posts: 358
Country: 
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The facts of life
Man I've got a ton of them, but after reading the rules, well-I got nothing.
Well maybe one for now-they'll get better later when I recall the ones suitable for mixed company.
Two kids were talking about the facts of life.One asked the other if he had heard about the birds and the bees.He said no but he knew about salmon swimming upstream. The other kid asked what happens when they swim upstream. So the other kid replies "I'm not sure exactly, but it must be pretty bad because they're always getting caught and put in the can.
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08-16-13, 09:17 PM
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#2
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Member
Join Date: Mar-2013
Location: CT
Posts: 3,888
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Re: The facts of life
Whats the point of this thread? and what in the hell are you talking about?
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08-16-13, 09:26 PM
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#3
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Member
Join Date: Aug-2013
Location: White Settlement
Posts: 358
Country:
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Re: The facts of life
Quote:
Originally Posted by smy_749
Whats the point of this thread? and what in the hell are you talking about?
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My bad- thought this was the JOKE section. And what the heck is your prob?
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08-16-13, 09:43 PM
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#4
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Member
Join Date: May-2013
Posts: 4,858
Country:
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Re: The facts of life
I like turtles
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08-16-13, 11:08 PM
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#5
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Member
Join Date: Aug-2013
Location: White Settlement
Posts: 358
Country:
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Re: The facts of life
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikoh4792
I like turtles
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ME TOO! They taste great! Just kidding, I caught two baby red eared sliders one time and raised them up to about 12" shell size then let them go. (Outa grease that day. ..Jk)
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08-17-13, 02:01 AM
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#6
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Member
Join Date: Mar-2013
Location: CT
Posts: 3,888
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Re: The facts of life
didnt realize people posted in this section. kinda forgot we had it actually. my mistake, makes sense now, carry on
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08-17-13, 03:18 AM
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#7
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Non Carborundum Illegitimi
Join Date: Mar-2010
Location: Keynsham
Age: 50
Posts: 9,556
Country: 
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Re: The facts of life
Bananas!!!
__________________
May you have more good days than bad 
You never know how strong you are - until being strong is your only choice
There are no dark clouds - just well hidden silver linings!!
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08-17-13, 05:32 AM
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#8
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Village Idiot
Join Date: Oct-2011
Age: 39
Posts: 7,360
Country:
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Re: The facts of life
Quote:
Originally Posted by smy_749
didnt realize people posted in this section. kinda forgot we had it actually. my mistake, makes sense now, carry on
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And here I thought you were practicing anal insertion with pineapples again....
__________________
I used to be a nice guy but that don't get you anywhere. So now I'm just a piece of ****, idiot,
who's too stupid to care.
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08-17-13, 05:55 AM
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#9
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Member
Join Date: Mar-2013
Location: CT
Posts: 3,888
Country:
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Re: The facts of life
Quote:
Originally Posted by KORBIN5895
And here I thought you were practicing anal insertion with pineapples again....
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I haven't done that in months bro, don't bring up my past for the public to see...
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08-17-13, 06:18 AM
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#10
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Village Idiot
Join Date: Oct-2011
Age: 39
Posts: 7,360
Country:
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Re: The facts of life
Lol. You remind me of a Greek friend of mine that was learning Spanish. The first phrase he wanted to learn was "Hello, you are beautiful." What they actually taught him was "Hello, I frack beautiful goats." His nick name became The Greek Goat Fracker.....
__________________
I used to be a nice guy but that don't get you anywhere. So now I'm just a piece of ****, idiot,
who's too stupid to care.
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08-17-13, 06:20 AM
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#11
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Member
Join Date: Mar-2013
Location: CT
Posts: 3,888
Country:
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Re: The facts of life
Quote:
Originally Posted by KORBIN5895
Lol. You remind me of a Greek friend of mine that was learning Spanish. The first phrase he wanted to learn was "Hello, you are beautiful." What they actually taught him was "Hello, I frack beautiful goats." His nick name became The Greek Goat Fracker.....
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I'll take that as a compliment
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08-17-13, 09:15 AM
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#12
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Member
Join Date: Aug-2013
Location: White Settlement
Posts: 358
Country:
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Re: The facts of life
Quote:
Originally Posted by KORBIN5895
Lol. You remind me of a Greek friend of mine that was learning Spanish. The first phrase he wanted to learn was "Hello, you are beautiful." What they actually taught him was "Hello, I frack beautiful goats." His nick name became The Greek Goat Fracker.....
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LMAO- Reminds me of one that is barely forum legal (could be blocked)....
An Evangelist was living with a tribe in Africa. A woman gave birth to a white baby. The chief had him brought to him. "You are in big trouble! "The Evangelist tried to explain:"It's not mine it's an Albino. ) The chief didn't know what that was."You are the only white man that has been with us for a year. "
So the Evangelist looked out and happened to see a flock of sheep."Albino, a freak of nature. See those sheep out there, how they are all white, but there's one black one? "
The chief thought a second-"Tell you what-you don't say no more about that sheep and I won't say no more about that baby."
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08-17-13, 11:22 AM
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#13
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Member
Join Date: May-2013
Posts: 4,858
Country:
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Re: The facts of life
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug 351
LMAO- Reminds me of one that is barely forum legal (could be blocked)....
An Evangelist was living with a tribe in Africa. A woman gave birth to a white baby. The chief had him brought to him. "You are in big trouble! "The Evangelist tried to explain:"It's not mine it's an Albino. ) The chief didn't know what that was."You are the only white man that has been with us for a year. "
So the Evangelist looked out and happened to see a flock of sheep."Albino, a freak of nature. See those sheep out there, how they are all white, but there's one black one? "
The chief thought a second-"Tell you what-you don't say no more about that sheep and I won't say no more about that baby."
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Ohhhhhhhhhhh snap
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08-18-13, 03:29 PM
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#14
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Member
Join Date: Aug-2013
Location: White Settlement
Posts: 358
Country:
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Re: The facts of life
Viewer discretion advised:
If you're not fairly familiar with American football, this won't make any sense:
T-Bone was a Cajun living in Louisiana until he died and went to hell.After a while the devil went to his room to see how it was going.
To his surprise, he found T-Bone drinking beer and watching TV."Aren't you hot?" asked the devil. "Nope-seen hotter in Spring back home. "
This made the devil mad so he cranked up the heat. He went back and found T-Bone drinking iced tea in a lounge chair.
This infuriated the devil so he decided to take a different approach. He made T-Bones room so cold ice formed on everything.
Once again he was amazed when he checked on T-Bone. He was drinking champagne and dancing. What is up with you! -demanded the devil. T-Bone replied:
"THE SAINTS DONE WON THE SUPERBOWL, THE SAINTS DONE WON THE SUPERBOWL, HOT D@M, THE SAINTS DONE WON THE SUPERBOWL!!!!"
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08-18-13, 07:26 PM
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#15
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Moderator
Join Date: May-2008
Location: Central New York State
Age: 60
Posts: 16,536
Country:
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Re: The facts of life
This one is real facts of life funny, have to share it.
Went camping this weekend with my grandkids.
We had a bag of roasted peanuts in the shell to snack on, and my yougest GD Alivia is only 2 1/2 years old, and her pronounciation of penut sounds exactly like penus.
So we are all sitting there when she professed "I really like putting penus in my mouth, they are yummy."
I about shat where I sat.
__________________
"Where would we be without the agitators of the world attaching the electrodes
of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance?"
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