Please Help - Cat Bullying

moshirimon · 07-08-13, 11:02 AM

Hey guys ive been dealing with a real problem recently and i don't know what to do. I have 2 cats, Puma and Porscha. Puma is a 4 year old domestic long hair. Got him from a shelter when he was 5 months old, he was skin and bones lol. Anyway he has always been a BIG cat, not only is he chubby but he is large in general. He is very sweet, shy, and doesn't exactly have the most confidence. He minds himself, never scratches, never makes noise, never goes where he's not supposed. it's like he's human, and he listens to the words you tell him.

When Puma was about too I introduced Porscha, a tiny 7 week old traditional balinese girl. She was the cutest thing i had ever seen. From day 1, porscha was extremely intellegent. she'd find her way around anything and anywhere. she found out how to pull open some door, open cabinets, where her food was, ways to hide out by the front door and dash outside whenever she can, and kinda started to take over.

As she grew she became more and more intellegent, i had never seen a cat like this (looked up the breed they are said to be one of the smartest). Whenry you don't give her attention she dollows you and latches onto your leg. She would wake me up every morning.

Over time she has become the dominant one. Not letting puma eat, chasing him around when he doesnt want to be chased, attacking him in his sleep and even kicking him out of the litterbox. We have since gotten seperate litterboxes and we feed puma seperately while she is locked in the washroom. Its VERY sad to see and everytime we notice we stop it, but its getting to the point where he almost seems depressed. He sits by the same window everyday, doesnt make a peep, gets up to eat and poop and plops back down. He will however come to you if encouraged and made feel welcome. He has many small puncture wounds you can see and feed from porschas teeth and claws. I wake up in the morning to find pumas fur everywhere. This is sad and not fair to him, and I need to do something about it. I will be taking him to the vet next week for his injuries and getting some help from them.

bcr229 · 07-08-13, 11:09 AM

Can you confine them to different parts of the house (e.g. basement versus first floor) or to different rooms at night and when you're not home to supervise them? Obviously each area would need its own water bowl, litter box, and bed.

Mark Taylor · 07-08-13, 11:29 AM

How long has it been going on? How old are they now? I take they have both been neutered.

smy_749 · 07-08-13, 11:36 AM

If they haven't been spayed/neutered I can prob guarantee thats the cause. Anyways, some cats are just a-holes. You could probably train him, they have a show on animal planet of some cat whisperer who 'fixes' demon cats. Or you could just spray him with a water bottle when hes being a **** or rehome him to a close friend ;P

Those are my solutions lol

Terranaut · 07-08-13, 11:39 AM

Put the tough guy in your snake tank

Er. I mean you probably will have to give one away to stop this.
Are they both "fixed"?

moshirimon · 07-08-13, 11:58 AM

Tough gal* lol. Yes they are both fixed. they used to be the best of friends, she would follow him around, immitate what he does. and now she bullies him. Spraying with water does NOTHING to her but terrifies him. I am telling you guys she is super smart and fearless. she feels she has to be ontop. if i brush him and give him attention she will wait until i'm done then pounce on him and attack him. he does nothing but run away. Puma the male is 4 and Porscha the female (bully) is 2.

Giving them away is out of the question for now. there must be other ways. These cats are like my siblings lol

formica · 07-08-13, 12:17 PM

Some cats don't get along and there is nothing that can be done about it, if it continues, one of them will move out by their own choice, most likely the submissive one - I know it's a hard thing to consider, but it may be better to find a loving home for one of them before he deciedes it's time to go out on his own and find somewhere himself. Family member maybe?

Once a pattern of dominance has set in, it is very unlikely that it can be broken, there are various products which claim to soothe tensions between cats, but they are more marketing and sales pitch than science, a cat shrink might be able to give you some things to try, but ultimately you need to think about the welfare of the cats, domestic cats can have a hard time on their own, but they will leave if they don't feel at home any more

i've had 8 cats thru my life, seen all sorts of personalities in them, and had to make a similar decision years ago - the submissive cat ran away many times, and the dominate took to peeing all over the house, when she realized that bullying wasnt doing the trick - as soon as they where split up (one went to live with another family), both settled down and became happy cats

Mark Taylor · 07-08-13, 12:40 PM

I had one that was a bit like that with my other cat (They were about the same age and both males.) So I went out and bought another cat around the same age another male and introduced it to the friendly cat first. After a couple of days in the same room I let them both out and they followed each other all over the house but as soon as the bully came to see the new smell and seen there was 2 he buggered off. I swear it wasn't 1 week before they were all curled up in front of the radiator. They to lived long and happy.

Cats are very clever but something needs to put her right, I would get another cat female around the same age and introduce it to the male.

formica · 07-08-13, 12:50 PM

...or it could make the situation worse...

MoreliAddict · 07-08-13, 01:25 PM

Sounds like the female is getting violent on the other cat while you are asleep.. you need to take IMMEDIATE action and separate them while you are asleep or not around.. in my opinion you should lock the female one in a crate every night.. but either way you NEED to separate them ASAP..

Felt horrible reading this story realizing that you find fur in the morning from them fighting but haven't even separated them yet...

moshirimon · 07-08-13, 01:41 PM

First off let me tell you guys Puma has A LOT of loose fur. He has layers on layers lol and i am almost 100% sure his fur isnot being "pulled out". He has clumps of fur you can pull out from shedding especially right now as it's the beginning of summer. I never hear vocalizations as aggressive cats usually do. I have seen it too, it almost looks like the girl is wanting to play and he doesnt and is annoyed. and she plays rought even with us humans. She plays fetch like a dog and when you tell her it's enough and walk away she chases your leg and pounces on it, rolling around then running away expecting you to chase her. But all this is very rough, she leaves me with cuts and scratches all the time.

My look on it is SHE wants to play when SHE wants and when he doesn't she forces it on him. She kicked him out of the litterbox when SHE has to go, not to deprive him of it. She tries taking his food because she is CONSTANTLY ready for food, (i said earlier that she opens the cabinets to get to it). I see it as her wanting things when and where and she makes it happen when she wants. She still follows him around, sneaks up beside him while he's asleep and sleeps next to him even in the same position at times. she copies alot of his actions.

Like i said i don't see it as aggression but just her bullying him into doing what she wants, and her just being ontop. It isn't a big deal but when its been going on constantly recently he just seems sick and tired of it.

I will go to the vet but getting rid of one is my very LAST choice, and i will not consider until i see any real hatred between the two. Hissing, "roaring", ears back, face swiping, etc.

formica · 07-08-13, 01:56 PM

If the fights are not noisy, then it could be a sign of rough play - I've had older kittens who play very rough, and pull fur out of each other, with little noise, unless it gets too rough, then one of them gets a scratched nose and a loud hiss. But its obvious they are playing, because they also groom one another, sleep together and greet each other (touching noses) without getting upset

re you getting scratched - best way to deal with, is to hiss and walk away, avoid eye contact and ignore her for a while, if she carries on, stamp your foot and hiss, then ignore her again, not making eye contact is important, this is how her mother would have taught her to keep her claws in, it works well, but its not instant, most kittens learn within a few weeks tho - shes only 2, basicaly shes doing what all Teen cats do, same as human teens lol

moshirimon · 07-08-13, 02:12 PM

I like that answer alot better lol. I actually do similar things when they get up on the counter and it usually works. just never thought about doing it all the time. I will continue using this as an effective way. I will keep you guys updated.

But what would i do about the scratches and cuts on his back? they arent small but there is quite alot and they have scabbed up so i can feel them thrrough his fur. I thought they could have been fleas or mites at first but i was able to look through to see some and they are little scabs from her claws and teeth.

formica · 07-08-13, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by moshirimon

I like that answer alot better lol. I actually do similar things when they get up on the counter and it usually works. just never thought about doing it all the time. I will continue using this as an effective way. I will keep you guys updated.

But what would i do about the scratches and cuts on his back? they arent small but there is quite alot and they have scabbed up so i can feel them thrrough his fur. I thought they could have been fleas or mites at first but i was able to look through to see some and they are little scabs from her claws and teeth.

how many times has it happened? if its happened more than a few times, then he's not able to assert himself, they probably need splitting up at night, if its just a few times, then see how it goes, he should be able to set a limit on how much he will put up with, and if she really over steps the mark she'l get a scratched nose for her enthusiasm, assuming he can assert himself - some male cats are right whimps, esp up against a fiesty female, even works if i'm not in the room and I can hear him sneeking into the cupboards for corn flakes

does it only happen at night? you can intervene if it happens when you are around, stamp your feet or say Oi! loudly and stare right at her until she looks away, she should get the message, if she carries on being too rough then put her in for eg the bathroom for 10minutes to cool off. another random tip, is dont ever use her name if you are telling her off, it can confuse cats because we often use their names for praise/food etc, pick another single word and stick to, i like Oi coz its fast and simple, gets the message across, my Jacks learnt it means Behave without me having to stamp or take a time out any more...even works from a diffrent room, if i hear him sneeking into a cupboard for cornflakes or harrassing the other cats

dont stare at her if shes scratched you tho - thats an invitation for her to fly at your your neck claws streched wide lol

Mark Taylor · 07-08-13, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by moshirimon

First off let me tell you guys Puma has A LOT of loose fur. He has layers on layers lol and i am almost 100% sure his fur isnot being "pulled out". He has clumps of fur you can pull out from shedding especially right now as it's the beginning of summer. I never hear vocalizations as aggressive cats usually do. I have seen it too, it almost looks like the girl is wanting to play and he doesnt and is annoyed. and she plays rought even with us humans. She plays fetch like a dog and when you tell her it's enough and walk away she chases your leg and pounces on it, rolling around then running away expecting you to chase her. But all this is very rough, she leaves me with cuts and scratches all the time.

My look on it is SHE wants to play when SHE wants and when he doesn't she forces it on him. She kicked him out of the litterbox when SHE has to go, not to deprive him of it. She tries taking his food because she is CONSTANTLY ready for food, (i said earlier that she opens the cabinets to get to it). I see it as her wanting things when and where and she makes it happen when she wants. She still follows him around, sneaks up beside him while he's asleep and sleeps next to him even in the same position at times. she copies alot of his actions.

Like i said i don't see it as aggression but just her bullying him into doing what she wants, and her just being ontop. It isn't a big deal but when its been going on constantly recently he just seems sick and tired of it.

I will go to the vet but getting rid of one is my very LAST choice, and i will not consider until i see any real hatred between the two. Hissing, "roaring", ears back, face swiping, etc.

This is exactly the same as the one I had to deal with, But the advice given is already good.

I just did it a different way it served the same purpose the new cat also wanted to play (In the end, after they got familiar with each other). So the naughty one (Playful one) Seemed to play with the new one I have seen it loads of times in the past. Just hard for me tell without seeing the behaviour.

If it continues could you post a vid?