need help with something

Turtle Matt · 12-19-03, 03:17 PM

Hey, my girlfriend (17) has recently told me that when she was in grade 2 or 3 (so about 6 or 7 years old) her cousin used to sexually assault her (and she says shes pretty sure he started long before that age)..She said she's really never told anyone (and is reluctant to tel me much) and it's been about 10 years I guess since he stopped (he was 15 or 16 when he stopped) and it really concerns me... Who knows if maybe this guy still does it to young children... Obviously, my first reaction is that I want to kick the #%@& out of the guy, but mmy question is, who can I go to (and because of the 10 years, can he still get in trouble) to report him??? It's been making me somewhat depressed thinking that someone has done such a terrible thing to someone I care for so much and nothing was ever done about it... Any help is apprectaited..
Matt

12-19-03, 05:02 PM

yes it is still an illegal act that can be pursued.

asphyxia · 12-19-03, 05:34 PM

Its not your call Matt, leave it up to your Girl Friend to do as she sees fit, just support her in her decision. (IMO)

Regards
Brian

beth wallbank · 12-19-03, 05:58 PM

Matt. I so feel for your girlfriend. But the best you can do for her is be an ear and support her. Please don't act to hastely, as this can do more harm than good. This disgusting pig can be criminally prosecuted indefinitely, so leave the healing time up to her.

chas*e · 12-19-03, 06:35 PM

A pedophile is a pedophile is a pedophile...it is not a cold or flu he can get over ...call the POLICE .......dont worry about the family reputation....he is a SCUM and deserves what he gets...screw him
If you don't call the police YOU are just as guilty as him, in some aspects...let her heal when he is in prison where he belongs

sapphire_moon · 12-19-03, 07:30 PM

I know what your going through. It is up to your gf, but you could always make an annonomous *sp????* report. It is still illegal, she can still press charges. But it will be harder for him to be put in jail.

My first reation would be to warn the people that have kids that are close to him.
Just support her in anything she does. Watch her moods, and hwo she is. It can depress a person to be sexually molested for their entire lifes. If at all possible try to get her to a physcologist (grrr, bad spelling tonight!)

V.hb · 12-19-03, 09:31 PM

IMO you should talk to her matt, get her to come forward with this. Who knows what this guy could be doing now? he needs to be found and kept away from any other potential victims. Give me an MSN if need be man.

ChristinaM · 12-19-03, 10:32 PM

Matt......

Yes he could be still charged.
That would mean your gf would have to get up on stand(if he doesn't plead guilty) and tell in amazing detail the story of her abuse. And, he could still get off with a slap on the wrist or nothing at all.

That is what stopped me from pressing charges against my former stepbrother.

I watched one of my friends who charged her father go to trial.
The questions they asked her, she had to relive the abuse. Hours of endless questions about the most painful experience in her life.

The ba$tard got off. Found not guilty.

That's one side you and she need to be prepared for if you do get him charged.

Please, please don't get me wrong, I think all molesters should be casterated and tortured. But I don't wish to relive my worst nightmare. *cough* take it into personal hands*cough* I do not condone illegal activities. Take what you think I mean from that statement. Be smart about it.

sidenote: what does your gf want?

Turtle Matt · 12-20-03, 03:11 AM

OK,thanks for all of your input..It was so long ago that she seems fine with it now, but as was mentioned,who knows if he's still doing it... I am going to try to talk her into it.... I dont care at all of the family reputation at all either....V. hb, I've been wanting to speak with you about it for awhile but you havn't been online when I have lately.. The most important thing to me about it now is that she's ok with it, but it makes me sick to think of someone (especially a family member) doing something so terrible...She says that her family used to think they were just really good cousins which brings a tear to my eye... He may come to her house for christmas, and if he does that may be the time I call the police, or I may wait until after so it doesn't spoil the rest of the family's holidays... I can call it in as an anonymous 3rd party correct?? This has been running through my head constantly for the last few days and I'm hoping I can convince her to take some action..The only problem is she's pretty shy (could be from the experience) and she wont really even go into detail with me what he's done, she's just given subtle hints, so I can guess the rest.
Matt

Turtle Matt · 12-20-03, 03:13 AM

OK,thanks for all of your input..It was so long ago that she seems fine with it now, but as was mentioned,who knows if he's still doing it... I am going to try to talk her into it.... I dont care at all of the family reputation at all either....V. hb, I've been wanting to speak with you about it for awhile but you havn't been online when I have lately.. The most important thing to me about it now is that she's ok with it, but it makes me sick to think of someone (especially a family member) doing something so terrible...She says that her family used to think they were just really good cousins which brings a tear to my eye... He may come to her house for christmas, and if he does that may be the time I call the police, or I may wait until after so it doesn't spoil the rest of the family's holidays... I can call it in as an anonymous 3rd party correct?? This has been running through my head constantly for the last few days and I'm hoping I can convince her to take some action..The only problem is she's pretty shy (could be from the experience) and she wont really even go into detail with me what he's done, she's just given subtle hints, so I can guess the rest. To Bichiraddict, she doesn't really like to talk of it too muich so Im not sure what she'd like to do... Im sure she wouldn't mind seeing him locked up, but she's shy..
Matt