The Hormone Hostage

[Edwin]

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands.

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's licence in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be over-reacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

And my personal favorite...

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today!
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!