View Full Version : How would you convince him?
So, as a lot of you know, my boyfriend REALLY doesn't like snakes (or lizards or cats or birds or...you get the point). He's def been sweet enough to let me have my 2 snakes and my cat, with one of the snakes and the cat being fairly recent acquisitions. At the pet store, they have a hatchling BCI who is absolutely GORGEOUS and chill...and the boyfriend has said No. No more pets. In order to get one, he wants me to get rid of one I already have, which is basically out of the question. I pay for my snakes, their food, their heating stuff, everything. I mist them, change water, feed them, etc. He's getting to the point to where he'll touch pajamas or oliver, and he'll let them crawl on him where his skin isn't bare...but still says no. How do I get him to understand the term "snake COLLECTION"? Should I drop the subject and just be happy with what I've got?
msavary76
08-31-12, 11:01 PM
My wife says you just drop the bf. I say its all about compromise. Im sure he does something you dont like but put up with. Anywho good luck with this one. Oh btw you snakes names are like totally awesome.
Maybe some pics perhaps????
totheend
08-31-12, 11:01 PM
You ask first????? LOL
My wife says you just drop the bf. I say its all about compromise. Im sure he does something you dont like but put up with. Anywho good luck with this one. Oh btw you snakes names are like totally awesome.
Maybe some pics perhaps????
Lmao, I won't drop him <3 I'm trying to compromise...I even offered to make the cages all one unit (pajamas on bottom, oliver and the BCI on top), and he still wont go for it...=/ And thanks! I love their names...the boyfriend is who named Pajamas xD
You ask first????? LOL
xD Lots of mutual respect...I try not to make him upset, and he does the same for me. You sound like the little girl today..."why don't you just buy the snake and bring him home?" haha.
rmfsnakes32
08-31-12, 11:17 PM
Ahhhh they get over it maybe (like suggested in a funny way) bring it home anyway he might be mad for a bit but let him name it may make him feel like he has more control lol good luck
totheend
08-31-12, 11:21 PM
My bf doesn't really care for snakes...or reptiles. But it doesn't stop me :D. I don't tell him what he can or can't do so I expect the same. Besides...they don't hurt him or bother him at all.
what you do is go out and buy it set it all up for when he gets home, and if he doesnt notice within like a hour then it really doesnt impact his life at all and tell him to get over it. If that doesnt work threaten to with hold sex im sure that will do it
Nobodyspecial
08-31-12, 11:29 PM
I'm going to have to agree with just get it. It doesn't affect him in anyway. I would anyways. I mean there's being polite and trying to compromise to make him happy as well. And I would still do everything you said you would to appease him. But ultimately its your money and your time. Not his, he's your boyfriend not a parent. lol.
See, I don't know if I could do that to him...he's afraid of me spending all my money on snakes...(which I don't understand how it's a bad thing). That's his only reasoning, is that he doesn't want to be broke and hungry (which won't happen. People get foods before snakes, and we both make enough for this to happen). Bleh.
Nobodyspecial
08-31-12, 11:45 PM
If money is his concern just try to lay it out for him expenses wise. "We use this much money for rent, food, snakes etc. per month.." And show him that there's enough left over to take on another animal. I had to do the same thing for my mom actually lol.
Lmao, that is a very good idea =3 The biggest reason just bringing it home isn't an option is because he HATES surprises =/ Christmas is torture for him. haha.
jaleely
09-01-12, 12:38 AM
my snakes and my dog make me incredibly happy. my hubby would feel better if i didn't have so many, but i take care of them every single day, and he sees how happy they make me, so he relents. Plus every time i want a new one i point this out, that it makes me very happy : ) : ) : )
rmfsnakes32
09-01-12, 12:43 AM
Sounds like you can work him over nicely! ;)
yeah...basically I just need him to want something really bad, and we'll make a trade ;D
CDN_Blood
09-01-12, 03:56 AM
Non-herp types will never understand the 'collection' part, but the key to having someone understand that snakes aren't as distasteful as they may have once thought is education. Once a body learns about these creatures and is finally able to separate fact from fiction, they begin to 'get' why snakes are what they are, do what they do and usually even begin to want some contact. From there is not usually long before they're saying "I'm thinking of getting one for myself".
The hard part is finding quality information laid out in an easy to understand format, and unfortunately there are so many know-it-all know-nothings posting crap, crap and more crap that it gets more and more difficult to find that quality info, so my suggestion would be to pick up a small, easy to read book on the snake you want this person to get to know better and challenge them to read it and see if they still think the same way by the end of the book. What intelligent person doesn't like a challenge and enjoy learning something new, right? :cool:
yeah...basically I just need him to want something really bad, and we'll make a trade ;D
Isint that a little immature?
My girl hates snakes, yet I have a room dedicated to them.
If snakes are your passion, he should suport you, and if he doesn't drop him.
marvelfreak
09-01-12, 06:54 AM
Just get him super drunk then have some wild sex. Then the next morning be like i going to get the snake to right. When he say no be like "Last night after you called out your Ex's name during sex and i was crying you promise to get it for me, because you say you felt so bad. What know your going back on your word. He won't know what hit him and you'll get your snake.
Just get him super drunk then have some wild sex. Then the next morning be like i going to get the snake to right. When he say no be like "Last night after you called out your Ex's name during sex and i was crying you promise to get it for me, because you say you felt so bad. What know your going back on your word. He won't know what hit him and you'll get your snake.
Haha
Awesome!
DragonsEye
09-01-12, 07:36 AM
Guess I'll have to be the sole dissenting voice ... no, do not just buy the snake and "surprise him". That is asking for an unpleasant situation. Sounds like the first thing you need to do is actually pin down why he doesn't want a new one brought in. From what you've said, you really have nothing more than "ideas" as to why he is against it.
If it is a money issue, then do the responsible thing -- lay out on paper all the expenses involved (the snake itself, enclosure, monthly/yearly feeding expenses, any notable increases in the energy bill, etc.). If it does NOT fit into your budget (and be honest with yourself) then drop the idea for now. If it does fit well into budgetary restraints, then you have it on paper to show him that it won't be a concern.
If it is a space issue, think it through and design your set up so it will not take up an inordinant amount of space -- and plan ahead for the snake's future requirements. Then show the plans to him.
In any event you need to have a real talk with him and determine just what the issue(s) is/are. If you can't resolve the issue(s), then I would say be happy with what you have.
shaunyboy
09-01-12, 07:37 AM
i would point out,how little maintenance is required when keeping snakes
you feed them once,every 2 to 4 weeks,spot clean when required,and thats it
not exactly a huge commitment of work
oh and snakes don't make any noise,tell him he won't even notice,that extra snakes are there
just stack your tanks,one tank on top of another
then do that womany thing.....
with the fluttering eye lashes and puppy dog eyes,that you women are all so good at pal;)
i hope you get your boyfriernd to cave and let your get more snakes
cheers shaun:D
shaunyboy
09-01-12, 07:40 AM
Just get him super drunk then have some wild sex. Then the next morning be like i going to get the snake to right. When he say no be like "Last night after you called out your Ex's name during sex and i was crying you promise to get it for me, because you say you felt so bad. What know your going back on your word. He won't know what hit him and you'll get your snake.
^^^^^
some times i worry about you Chuck :laugh:
in this case though.....
the end justifys the means :yes::yes:
cheers shaun :)
exwizard
09-01-12, 08:28 AM
Ive been reading this thread and the replies are proving to be quite interesting. Before I say anything, I am glad I am in a position in life where I can do what I want when I want, keep what I want and get more as I want. I wouldnt have it any other way, not for a girl, not for family or any other reason. That having been said I do understand when you find yourself having to submit to anothers wishes. Ive been there as well. I dont think trickery is the answer in this case because your relationship is based on trust. Find out what the basis of his objections is and approach it with your facts concerning those objections. If he still wont budge, then you need to decided which is more important, your snake collection or your relationship with him and base what you do on the answer to that question.
Show him your boobs. Men like boobs....
shaunyboy
09-01-12, 08:36 AM
Show him your boobs. Men like boobs....
^^^^^
:laugh::laugh::laugh:
your on TOP form today Mykee
subtle as EVER :laugh:
but as always,you are indeed correct my friend;)
that technique always works on me :D
cheers shaun
marvelfreak
09-01-12, 08:37 AM
Show him your boobs. Men like boobs....
LMAO
This is so true. If Tami whipped out her boobs every time she asked me for something i don't think i could say no. lol
Lankyrob
09-01-12, 09:14 AM
Guess I'll have to be the sole dissenting voice ... no, do not just buy the snake and "surprise him". That is asking for an unpleasant situation. Sounds like the first thing you need to do is actually pin down why he doesn't want a new one brought in. From what you've said, you really have nothing more than "ideas" as to why he is against it.
If it is a money issue, then do the responsible thing -- lay out on paper all the expenses involved (the snake itself, enclosure, monthly/yearly feeding expenses, any notable increases in the energy bill, etc.). If it does NOT fit into your budget (and be honest with yourself) then drop the idea for now. If it does fit well into budgetary restraints, then you have it on paper to show him that it won't be a concern.
If it is a space issue, think it through and design your set up so it will not take up an inordinant amount of space -- and plan ahead for the snake's future requirements. Then show the plans to him.
In any event you need to have a real talk with him and determine just what the issue(s) is/are. If you can't resolve the issue(s), then I would say be happy with what you have.
I am with you on this one, lying, trickery etc etc is not the way to have a happy relationship. By all means sit down and have a good talk about it so that you can figure out his exact concerns and then if they are workable you can plan what the next step is.
At the end of the day if he a totally against it then you have to choose one or the other and if you choose the snake then the relationship isnt worth worrying about anywyas :)
He's def more important than getting another snake ;D I guess I should say he's a little more than a boyfriend...we've been together for over 4 years all together (2 1/2 in high school, broke up because of distance with military, got back together on accident as soon as I was out). So dropping him is sorta out of the question...space is one of his concerns also, as we are gaining another roommate and I'm losing my sewing room, though I don't think he realizes cages stack...For now, I'm going to drop it...I'll revisit soon though, that's for sure.
rmfsnakes32
09-01-12, 10:25 AM
You all are so funny I dont think boobs is the cure for everything but Im a girl so I dont see them in the same way as guys
shaunyboy
09-01-12, 10:25 AM
He's def more important than getting another snake ;D I guess I should say he's a little more than a boyfriend...we've been together for over 4 years all together (2 1/2 in high school, broke up because of distance with military, got back together on accident as soon as I was out). So dropping him is sorta out of the question...space is one of his concerns also, as we are gaining another roommate and I'm losing my sewing room, though I don't think he realizes cages stack...For now, I'm going to drop it...I'll revisit soon though, that's for sure.
imo you can also keep,SAME sized females,also SAME sized male and female carpet pythons together
so maybe getting into carpet pythons would be the answer ;)
cheers shaun
" dont think boobs is the cure for everything"
They are.. Even just one. The left one.
shaunyboy
09-01-12, 10:32 AM
They are.. Even just one. The left one.
what wrong with the right one :hmm: ?
have you never felt a right tit Mykee ? :laugh::laugh::laugh:
cheers shaun:D
Lol. Nope, just the left one. Do they feel different?
Am I missing out on something?
CK SandBoas
09-01-12, 10:56 AM
I dont think boobs is the cure for everything
Boobs are the cure for everything, in my opinion, and i am a girl, and even i think they're awesome:D
Oh and Mykee,you'll get a whole better experience if you feel both of them, not just one:p
15 years with my wife and never have I thought to touch them BOTH!!
Thanks guys!!
Trollbie
09-01-12, 10:58 AM
Boobs are the cure for everything, in my opinion, and i am a girl, and even i think they're awesome:D
Oh and Mykee,you'll get a whole better experience if you feel both of them, not just one:p
Word. Walk around topless until he says yes lol
shaunyboy
09-01-12, 11:08 AM
15 years with my wife and never have I thought to touch them BOTH!!
Thanks guys!!
feel them both at the SAME time for maximum effect Mykee ;)
you'll get there in the end ;)
i've been with my wife 30 years,so i'm a little ahead of you...
take your time and practice mate:)
cheers shaun:D
You guys are killing me with laughter xD tried both boobs AND butt...still won't take the bait xD
Pareeeee
09-01-12, 11:49 AM
He's your boyfriend...he can't tell you what you can and can't do...tell him that if he loves you he wouldn't ask you to give up one of your pets. lol.
You guys are killing me with laughter xD tried both boobs AND butt...still won't take the bait xD
Everyday when he gets home be sure to be topless, get your boobs in his face everything you can think of. That should work or even give him a lap dance he should not be able to say no haha. If that does'nt work then make him a sandwitch guys love sandwitches.
Gungirl
09-01-12, 11:57 AM
I have to agree.. Boobs are the cure all. I am just glad I was given enough so that my hubby will deal with me!
Lankyrob
09-01-12, 12:31 PM
He's your boyfriend...he can't tell you what you can and can't do...tell him that if he loves you he wouldn't ask you to give up one of your pets. lol.
She's his girlfriend she cant tell him what he can and cant object too either :)
Relationships are all about compromise and discussion not lording your beliefs over the other persons - not if you want them to last anyway.
It's asking me to give one up in place of a new one...we compromise very well (just not when it comes to pets or cicumcision). Eventually I'll win....I always do...
Ahhhh, boobs. Be back in about 10 minutes....
CK SandBoas
09-01-12, 01:51 PM
I was asked once by my therapist if i was to have a successful relationship, would i be willing to give up all my animals in order for that to happen. I told him heck no, if a guy is not willing to accept my animals as a part of my life , then he's not going to be a part of my life.
Maybe that's why i'm still single!:p
I really hope everything works out, and you can add another snake, or two, to your collection:D
Lankyrob
09-01-12, 02:06 PM
I was asked once by my therapist if i was to have a successful relationship, would i be willing to give up all my animals in order for that to happen. I told him heck no, if a guy is not willing to accept my animals as a part of my life , then he's not going to be a part of my life.
Maybe that's why i'm still single!:p
I really hope everything works out, and you can add another snake, or two, to your collection:D
There is a big difference tho between taking someone on who already has animals and animals being added once teh relationship is "settled" - at that point it has to be a joint decision :)
Trollbie
09-01-12, 02:22 PM
There is a big difference tho between taking someone on who already has animals and animals being added once teh relationship is "settled" - at that point it has to be a joint decision :)
Compromise!
Lmao, I'm working on one that he's down for. >.< I already pay for all of the animals food (snakes, cat AND dog, and we don't feed the cheap stuff either). I may just have to wait until we move into our own place, and take over one of the rooms for a reptile room. Then he can't argue space, money OR time (because let's face it, they REALLY don't take much time.).
JustBitten
09-01-12, 03:26 PM
what you do is go out and buy it set it all up for when he gets home, and if he doesnt notice within like a hour then it really doesnt impact his life at all and tell him to get over it. If that doesnt work threaten to with hold sex im sure that will do it
Seriously, withholding s@x?! LOL. Not something I would suggest if you want to have a healthy relationship. Major no no. :P
If this guy is important to you and you can see him sticking around for the long haul, then I think I would talk to him, point out that your snake collection won't become a hoarder case, and that they are YOUR hobby and love. You promise not to let it get out of hand or cost more than you can afford, and you won't complain about him having his own interests and hobbies. For a relationship to work long term, I think each partner needs to be able to pursue their own interests as long as it doesn't negatively impact the other. You can suppress yourself for a while, even years, but eventually resentment will build and things could get nasty for no good reason.
Good luck :D
JustBitten
09-01-12, 03:29 PM
Show him your boobs. Men like boobs....
Love it, love it, love it !!!:D
jaleely
09-01-12, 03:52 PM
I just have to say.... I got mildly upset about something just now, and my husband looked at me and said "here let me make you feel better" and took my hand, and placed it on my own boob..."there, that makes everything better" he said, and then gave the other one a grab and said "see?"
Lol
Bet it worked. Woulda made ME feel better Melissa.
See, my butt is what makes everyone feel better. Even straight girls can't help but smile =3 And that's aaron's favorite, and he won't go for it.
Aaron_S
09-01-12, 04:11 PM
So I think the part your missing when you show him these. It's simple.
You need to show him and say "If you ever want to touch or see these again THIS is what's happening...."
Bahaha, I couldn't do that xD I sleep nude, and no way else. I just need a different plan of attack. Maybe I can convince the new roomie to bring one home, and magically leave it with us ;D
Aaron_S
09-01-12, 04:18 PM
Good idea....
Also, just don't let him sleep in the bed hahahaha. It'll always work out.
Can't sleep if he's not there xD That would be miserable for us both. I tried explaining to him last night that me spending money on snakes is no different than him building a suit of armor...but he wasn't listening.
snake man12
09-01-12, 04:22 PM
Except a snake is a good investment.
Aaron_S
09-01-12, 04:23 PM
I think you're poop outta luck
rmfsnakes32
09-01-12, 04:28 PM
Give it time he will come around maybe revisit the situation at xmas or bday time! When he asks what you want,pounce on him with your request keep us posted if you get a new snakey! :)
"my butt is what makes everyone feel better"
I have SUCH a headache....
Ok so forget the boobs. If he likes your butt, then I would tell him he can't touch it until you can get the snake. Tease him make him miserable until he caves.
rmfsnakes32
09-02-12, 12:04 AM
Lol I am so ammused by reading this thread! It has gone from a simple question to an all out giggle fest on my part who would have thought my small comment about boobs not being a cure would create so many comments to funnny! :)
JustBitten
09-03-12, 12:05 AM
I love this thread! Just what I needed at the end of a tough day :)
Glad to help in your amusement! We made a deal today- When he starts making a new set of armor (which is usually every year or so, and he's got one he's already planning), I can get a new snake, no questions asked. This way, he has to REALLY think about whether or not he NEEDS a new one, and if it's worth me getting another snake =3 I felt it was fair, and it gives me time to build Pajamas, Oliver's and then an extra enclosure (I want to stack them on Pajamas' cage to save space)
millertime89
09-03-12, 01:11 AM
Sounds like a good compromise to me. Good work.
rmfsnakes32
09-03-12, 01:29 AM
That is a great comprimise!
^-^ We're usually pretty good at them. Even if they take a while xD Can anyone fix the circumcision argument? I say no, he says yes >.<
rmfsnakes32
09-04-12, 08:38 PM
Depending is it for him or your future child? LOL I cant see where a grown man is going to consent to having it done on himself!
Lankyrob
09-05-12, 03:07 AM
Bahahha, future child xD
In taht case "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO" :)
Unless there is a medical need which changes the argument totally there is absolutley no need to be circumcised.
I dont see what the big deal is if he dont have to do anything for them i mean the cage will take up a little bit of room so what
infernalis
10-10-12, 09:06 PM
wow, what a roller coaster ride this thread is, snakes, bottoms, boobs and foreskins.. what's next??
CK SandBoas
10-10-12, 09:21 PM
wow, what a roller coaster ride this thread is, snakes, bottoms, boobs and foreskins.. what's next??
Do you really want to ask that question, Wayne?????:p
Aaron_S
10-11-12, 08:48 AM
I still have a headache.... ;)
Wildside
10-11-12, 09:21 AM
What if you find a snake with boobs, maybe that'll work?
shaunyboy
10-11-12, 11:14 AM
snakes, bottoms, boobs and foreskins..
^^^^^
is that a new porno mag for reptiles ? :shocked:
i've seen it all now me thinks ;):laugh::laugh:
cheers shaun
C5Chris
10-13-12, 05:07 PM
Well I am obviously late getting to the party here!
I was gonna suggest withold sex but that was suggested 5 pages ago.. and apparently that argument is settled.
Soo guess Ill throw my two cents in on the circumcision debate.
While it looks nicer with it gone, apparently it does have a function and is filled with nerve endings, so I would say no, let the child decide for himself in the future if he really wants it gone.
Also on that note I saw a show about how one guy was so distraught about not having his foreskin (or being given the choice on it) that he actually developed a system to "regrow" your foreskin.. basically its a device that you wear that pulls your skin over the head and overtime you have "foreskin" again.
How the hell did this discussion end up here lol.
Hahaha, it is settled =3 and he's letting me get a tarantula cause I lost my job and he felt bad xD Can't wait to do a naturalistic terrarium for it!!
moshirimon
10-13-12, 09:01 PM
EW hate tarantulas.. was really looking forward to you getting a boa..
haha, i'll get a boa someday, just not right now...i'm stoked for the tarantula because i love plants too....=]
Wildside
10-13-12, 09:15 PM
What does a tarantula have to do with plants?
i can put them in the terrarium =P
Wildside
10-13-12, 09:22 PM
But you don't NEED a tarantula to have plants :/
no, it just adds to the decor of plants =]
blood_shot
10-13-12, 09:57 PM
no, it just adds to the decor of plants =]
Yeah when my cacti are looking dull I sprinkle some scorpions and bird eating spiders in with them to bring out their lush fruitfull thorns:laugh:
Sorry I just created a new DIY network show in my head called Yard Swatters with your host Eric Naphoblia
carry on, in for pics
lmfao, exactly! xD See, i can't keep plants outside of a terrarium cause the cat and dog eat them (they're sneaky little b******s), so this way, i can have a naturalistic terrarium
blood_shot
10-13-12, 10:12 PM
lmfao, exactly! xD See, i can't keep plants outside of a terrarium cause the cat and dog eat them (they're sneaky little b******s), so this way, i can have a naturalistic terrarium
put the cat and dog in the terrarium, then you can have a naturlistic room/house
if you can find a terrarium big enough for a German Shepherd, I'd be amazed ;P
rmfsnakes32
10-14-12, 01:08 AM
Good luck with the tarantula I have one to! Nice thing about tarantulas they live a long time are pretty inexpensive to buy and maintain! Cant wait to see pics
moshirimon
10-14-12, 06:44 PM
lmfao, exactly! xD See, i can't keep plants outside of a terrarium cause the cat and dog eat them (they're sneaky little b******s), so this way, i can have a naturalistic terrarium
you should get some tree frogs in a planted vivarium! they really add to the beauty.. but yea i guess tarantulas would work too..:sorry:
Tree frogs would be awesome too! For now, we'll stick to the T. i'm excited.
BWAHAHAHAH!! So, Aaron is itching to make a new suit of armor already...So, in the next few months (provided I get a job), I will be adding a lovely GTP to my collection!!! *dancing*
lady_bug87
11-08-12, 06:27 PM
Ha ha what happened to the BCI?
decided against it. While gorgeous, the one I want is like...1500 +...so, I'll get another of my dream snakes, a GTP =]
lady_bug87
11-08-12, 07:48 PM
They're a fun species to have and watch change. Some individuals even tolerate handling like my girl
TheGreatMexican
11-08-12, 08:02 PM
divorce him. divorce him.
divorce him. divorce him.
Not gonna happen =P He puts up with my crazy, I put up with his. We've got a good thing going, here =]
Rogue628
11-08-12, 10:54 PM
Lucky you!
Sounds like he's slowly coming around to the dark side :D
Platinumxero
11-08-12, 11:05 PM
Oh you'll have to definitely post some pictures of your new GTP when you get one! I cannot wait to finally own my own as it is my dream snake as well. Just need to finish doing my research first. Books books and more books! Hehe ^_^ At least my bf doesn't mind reptiles in the least. He finds them to be cute, as do I. Lol
Lankyrob
11-09-12, 05:03 AM
divorce him. divorce him.
This forum doesnt do stupid comments and pathetic "advice" - please go elsewhere!
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