Re: good starter spider
I agree with Tsubaki - Grammostola and Brachypelma are probably the two best genera to consider. They ARE in the new world tarantulas, which usually do have the irritating urticating hairs you're talking about. But, the reason the new world T's have these hairs is because the vast majority of them have very mild venom, so they need extra protection. When you start looking at T's that don't have these hairs, you start getting into species that pack much more of a wallop with their bites (these are usually old world T's). I recommend you stay away from those, unless you know what you're doing. That said, some new world species, and individual spiders within the species, are less prone to "kicking hairs" than others.
If you prefer an arboreal spider, one of the Avicularia species would probably be best. Although, some people do consider the spiderlings of these species to be a bit more fragile. So, unless you're confident, a more mature Avic might be the better choice than a small spiderling.
“...the old ones ... knew in their bones... that death exists, that all life kills to eat, that all lives end, that energy goes on. They knew that humans are participants, not spectators.” -- Stephen Bodio, On the Edge of the Wild