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Old 11-28-02, 12:24 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Dr. Seuss does Star Trek TNG

If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...


Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star,
So, Data, please, how far? How far?

Data: Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
We'll have two days til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive?

Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine.

LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline!

Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make it so, please make it so!

Riker: But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
The danger here is far too great!

Picard: But surely we must not be late!

Troi: I'm sensing anger and great ire.

Computer: Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!

Picard: The ship's on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?

Riker: Not me.

Worf: Not me.

Picard: Computer, how long til we die?

Computer: Eight minutes left to say goodbye.

Data: May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
Extinguishers from tractor beams
And stop the fire, or so it seems...

Geordi: Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!
Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!

Picard: Mr. Data, thank you much.
You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.

Troi: We still must save the Indran planet --

Data: Which (by the way) is made of granite...

Picard: Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand -- we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.

Geordi: There's sabotage among the wires
And that's what started all the fires.

Riker: We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
We need to go! We need to go!

Troi: We must seek out the traitor spy
And lock him up and ask him why?

Worf: Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.

Troi: Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they've been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
We haven't even heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?

Crusher: Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!"
I can't just sit and let them die!
A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try!

Picard: Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.

Crusher: They may be dead by Tuesday noon.


Worf: The saboteur is in the brig.
He's very strong and very big.
I had my phaser set on stun --
A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
He would not budge, he would not fall,
He would not stun, no, not at all!
He changed into a stranger form
All soft and purple, round and warm.

Picard: Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?

Worf: I did and then I beat him fairly.
Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.

Riker: My commendations, Klingon friend!
Our troubles now are at an end!

Crusher: Now let's get our ship to fly
And orbit yonder Indran sky!

Picard: LaForge, please tell me we can go...?

Geordi: Yes, sir, we can.

Picard: Then make it so!
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Old 11-28-02, 12:36 PM   #2 (permalink)
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LOL Dragn! Yet another person who has too much time on their hands... hehe....
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Old 11-28-02, 02:55 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Are you feeling alright Hildie?? lol
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Old 11-28-02, 04:00 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Oh I'm feeling great - up to the fill line with Neocitran, Tylenol #1 and coffee.... but even with all that in me, I don't think I'd be able to think up that remake of TNG. No idea who get the condolences for owning the brain that though it up - 'tweren't me - I just copy and paste.
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Old 11-28-02, 04:28 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Lol that was hilarious
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Old 11-28-02, 04:48 PM   #6 (permalink)
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LOL cute!
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Old 11-28-02, 06:11 PM   #7 (permalink)
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ha ha ha ha ha!!! That was funny!
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Old 11-29-02, 05:00 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Old 11-29-02, 06:09 AM   #9 (permalink)
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just what I needed to read this morning
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Old 11-30-02, 06:49 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Ahh, that was fun!
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Old 11-30-02, 05:42 PM   #11 (permalink)
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That was hillarious
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