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Old 11-07-02, 12:02 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Cool Ever Wonder


...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

...why doctors call what they do "practice"?

...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?

...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing
liquid is made with real lemons?

...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?

...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for
the indestructible black box ?

...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of

...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (and that's the only
time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that
would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but,
it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside
down."(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but
wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce
the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds
with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking
this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." as
opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet,
eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
SilverTongue: )~<

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Old 11-07-02, 01:12 AM   #2 (permalink)
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2 things to say about this.

1. for all of those lables to have been put on those products (well most of them anyways) Someone had to be stupid enough to do what was on those labels and then sue the company for it.

2. why can't we let natural selection work its magic here and remove those labels.....

3. yea I know I said only 2 things but I had to add this one. If we didn't sterilize the needle on a lethal injection, and SOMEHOW they get a last minute pardon (most are done with IV and inserted several minutes before the actual injection) And that lucky bastage manages to get an infection from the needle that would be one HE!! of a lawsuit.

America, land of the free home of the lawsuit.

Anyways, I've go to go get me a hot cup of coffee from McDonalds and spill it on my lap. I've got a better chance of striking it rich that way Vs. the lottery.

Have fun kids! Ciao!
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Old 11-07-02, 09:34 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Originally posted by Syst3m
Anyways, I've go to go get me a hot cup of coffee from McDonalds and spill it on my lap. I've got a better chance of striking it rich that way Vs. the lottery.
There's an interesting e-zine out that reports on the rediculas lawsuits in the USA... it's called the true stella awards.... i think you can find a link to it from

when i get my copy i don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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Old 11-07-02, 09:41 PM   #4 (permalink)
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interesting post...
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Old 11-07-02, 10:16 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Some of those are just damn funny
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Old 11-08-02, 05:09 PM   #6 (permalink)
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wow makes you think
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