Birds of a feather flock together and then crap on your car.
There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles do not hurt.
If you cannot be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Donít assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
He who hesitates is probably right.
If you think there is good in everybody, you have not met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a childís middle name is so he can tell when he is really in trouble.
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
The mind is like a parachute; it works much better, when it is open
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth!
The difference between ***-kissing and brown-nosing is depth perception.