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Old 09-18-02, 11:19 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Never let it be said that Australian ground crews and engineers lack a
sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by
QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics.

P stands for the Problem the pilots entered in the log, and S stands for
the Corrective Action taken by the mechanics.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacements.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievable loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined
airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
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Old 09-19-02, 12:48 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Age: 61
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now THAT'S funny.

I'll get up off the floor now.
Committed to creating safe havens for our scaly friends
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Old 09-19-02, 05:31 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Age: 45
Posts: 759
ROFLMAO! As a maintenance mechanic myself; I can relate... and they call ME a smarta*s

__________________ - Serpents of the Morning Star - Sophiagroup

"He who always gets the last word, is generally the least intelligent speaker!"
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Old 09-19-02, 06:54 AM   #4 (permalink)
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thats wasy to funny LOL!!!
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Old 09-20-02, 10:35 PM   #5 (permalink)
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he he he, good one
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Old 09-21-02, 05:29 AM   #6 (permalink)
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lol!!! Leave it to the Ausies! They're such silly people!! lol!!!!
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Old 09-21-02, 05:55 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Age: 42
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Yeah im a mechanic and that sounds pretty much like how we talk to people to.
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Old 09-21-02, 04:56 PM   #8 (permalink)
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fliyen the friendly skies
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Old 09-21-02, 06:51 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I just got home after a few beers with some employees and i laughed my @$$ off. Thanks for sharing
Snakes are the animal that is most dreamed about by women.........I want to be reincarnated as a snake!
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Old 09-21-02, 09:20 PM   #10 (permalink)
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owww my stomache hurts now:thumbsup:

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Old 09-21-02, 10:12 PM   #11 (permalink)
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To Much

Guess i wont be flying to Australia anytime soon.
Have a good one
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