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Old 12-09-03, 04:30 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Ah, love.

So, this is kind of random, but I was wondering if anybody could share some stories about relationships with commitment-phobes. I'm looking for success stories, preferably "At first he was afraid of commitment, but now we're happily married" or something. No particular reason, or anything. Not like I'm in that situation. Just asking. Curiosity. Nothing else. Really. Ahem.
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Old 12-09-03, 08:12 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Well, mine is not a success story....yet....

Me and my hubby(bf, whatever you wanna call him) met in early 1997. He was the first man I was with after my first daughter's father left me. We fell in love hard and fast. Then my ex wanted to come back, so I ditched Mark and went back with an a$$ that left me again the next day. My pride would not allow me to call Mark.

We kept in touch on and off throughout the yrs. It turned into a "friends with benefits" thingy. Lots of fun, but NO commitments, no relationship. We had a 3mos relationship in late 98, then he dumped me during the xmas holidays...(payback sucks). After the initial hurt n' stuff, we went back to being "play" friends.

I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd in Oct.99. Mark was not sure he wanted to be a dad, blah blah. It was a very rocky time, I hated him for that. Our daughter was born July 00. We got back together Dec.24/00 and have been together since.

We FINALLY moved in together as of this Sept 2003. It was a looonnngggggggggg time in the coming. BUT......this was a huge step for both of us, possibly more for him. We built a house in the town I lived in. Not the city he was in. (lil bit of commitment there eh). Things are going great.

He knows I would love to get married. I've wanted to for a while. I don't think we've ever really stopped loving each other. But he is very much wary of that kind of commitment. It will happen, I just don't know when. It will happen on HIS time, when he is ready. (but seriously, a man who builds a home in his gf's town.....think bout that one).

I don't know if that's what you are looking for, but that's our story.
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Old 12-11-03, 01:10 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I was a real commitment phobe some time ago, whenever someone tried to get close to me I'd spook and start pushing the person away by every means necessary.

But, in early 2002, I met Ken (Invictus) on a rating site (guess which one *LOL*). I was living in Edmonton, and he was living here in Calgary. We Emailed each other back and forth for quite a while, but then the Emails became less frequent because I was engrossed in my battles with my partner at the time, and my feelings for Ken were quite unusual for me, especially due to the circumstances.

After my final blow out with my ex, I Emailed Ken and asked him to jump onto MSN. We talked for several hours, and we really started to fall for each other. He finally agreed to come see me in Edmonton. So, in October or 2002, he takes a bus to Edmonton and we spend three wonderful days together. We had a very tearful parting, and after the second day, I called to tell him that I quit my job and I was coming to see him. So, October 17th, I arrived in Calgary. I had only planned to stay a few days, but, we couldn't bear the distance between each other anymore. So, I asked him if I could stay...and...

Needless to say, I have found the love of my life, and I most certainly happy that he loves snakes as much as I do!
Erin Keller :eb:
Snakes: 2.1 Corns, 1.1 Kings, 1.0 Everglades Rat, 1.1 Spotted Pythons, 1.2 Children's Pythons, 1.2 BCIs Lizards: 0.2 Leopard Geckos, 1.3 Bibron Geckos Inverts: 2.1 Tarantulas, 0.1 Emporer Scorpion Mammals: 0.2 Kittens

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Old 12-11-03, 01:24 AM   #4 (permalink)
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sure, got married, got a nasty divorce, had some nice relationships since, never gonna get a legally binding document again lol.
Old 12-11-03, 01:43 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I always had difficulties when it came to love. I was always seeking relationships but, if anyone did something I didn't like or made me uncomfortable - I would be outta there (fear of being rejected I guess)! Anyhoo, when I left home to go to colloege, I vowed not to date anyone seriously and focus on my studies. I had been single for a year and a half before school and was really enjoying my time. Focusing on what I wanted for myself. A few men approached me at this time and I wasn't interested.

During the first year of school, I was approached and didn't like what I saw. Phony men and the like. I didn't want to compromise myself. Well this guy asked for my number one night, the next day he called and asked me out. He seemed genuine and I had heard from other women that he was a great guy. So we went out. So sweet, flowers, expensive dinners dates - every weekend. I would only go out on weekends - commitment to school.

Six months later my parents meet him and my Mom declared that he was the guy I was going to marry. I was like - yea right, what do you know. Anyhow, three years later we got married. I love being married, hasn't been easy the last year (he's been ill). I couldn't imagine my life wothout him. He is the best thing that has happened to me. Although his illness has been difficult, it has made our relationship stronger and it makes me feel that we can now get through anything! Thats our story. The end!
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Old 12-11-03, 10:49 AM   #6 (permalink)
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For me i don't belive in marrage. Strange but ohwell. But i'm lucky enough to have the man i always dreamed of. He's the sweetest guy ever (at least to me). Amazinly we've been together almost 4 years (4 years on new years eve) and have only been in 2 fights (which were very minor). Every moment with him is wonderful and i don't ever see myself without him, but i also don't ever see myself getting married. I'm glad he understands and is ok with me not ever wanting to get married. I'm perfectly happy having a boyfriend the rest of my life, or possibly even common law marrage.

I have a little motto for marrage: Marrage always ends badly, Either in divorce or death, so why do it.
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Old 12-11-03, 11:47 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I personally have had longer and more caring relationships/commitments with my dogs than any wife I ever had(except the one I have had a dog that lasted through 3 wives ..."come on boy it is time to go ,we're getting kicked out again" ...I felt that he never wanted to go with me but thats what a leash is for... lol
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Old 12-12-03, 12:40 AM   #8 (permalink)
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After one awful (and long!) relationship, I swore off serious ones for life. (Or so I thought.) I promised myself that I would never EVER let myself be even a tiny bit vulnerable to anyone ever again. (Your classic, textbook Commitment-a-phob.) A string of guys later (all meaningless dating scenarios) I met this one amazing guy that I fell head over heels for in a hurry. It was very fast for both of us, and despite huge differences in age and career path, we'd moved in together in less than a month. Terrifying, yet thrilling. Things were going amazingly, it seemed too good to be true. Then the bomb dropped...he wants to have kids, but personally I feel that the world is overpopulated enough...AND even if it weren't, I wouldn't want to risk not having enough time for my creatures (who I could NEVER live without) by having a miniature human around. At the moment, this is still on-going -- I have no idea how it will turn out, but I can only hope for the best. I don't want all of this feeling to simply go to waste.
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Old 12-12-03, 10:40 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Hmmm katey and I aren't exactly commitment phobes though i was one at one point... i've had relationships with commitment phobes and needless to say they didn't work out (luckily, or i wouldn't be with katey).
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