Well I was kinda hoping that the sets of pig's testicles that I've carefully tied to pointed steaks and planted along the walkway leading up to my house would be the boyfriend deterrent. Whatever does the job though. Maybe when I'm introduced to the first one that's dumb enough to ignore the pig's nuts I'll have a little conversation with him while I bonk a freezer load of rats and bunnies. I'll put him off his game by inviting him down basement for a chat. Then I'll put the little ******* on bagging duty and with a few dozen prey and a little luck scar him for life. From there I imagine word will spread to stay the F away from THAT girl. And if that doesn't work maybe the toxic saliva thing will be necessary.
I feel a little light headed... maybe you should drive...