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Old 08-27-03, 01:46 PM   #1 (permalink)
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The Worst Snake Movie of All-time

A lot of people have seen the movie "Anaconda" where an impossibly big snake cruises around eating people in South America until Ice Cube an JLo get there and straighten it out. The only thing less realistic than the snake in this movie is the scene where Jon Voight wins a fight with Ice Cube. I mean COME ON!! Cube would punk that old man down! Unfortunately this isn't the worst snake movie I've seen. There's one out there called "PYTHON" with Robert Englund (aka Freddy Kruegger). This one is so bad it rivals Footloose, but there aren't any Kevin Bacon movies with snakes in them, that I know of anyway, so that isn't fair to compare them. If anyone knows of any other really awful ones I'd love to hear about them, I like to watch movies that are so bad that it's funny. Also if anyone has seen any good snake movies I would like to hear about those too because as far as I know they are all bad.
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Old 08-27-03, 02:17 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Yeah I agree Python sucked big time. There was also a 70's movie with snakes in a swamp with some freaky guy. It was so bad I don't even remember the name.
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Old 08-27-03, 02:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I have very bad news. BOA was much worse then Anaconda or python. In this one you have 80 boa on the lose at the South Pole. =) Yes, you heard me right. Running around in the coldest climate on earth.
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Old 08-27-03, 02:27 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I swear at Blockbuster Retal there was a movie titled "VIPER" and it showed a boa on the front- looked kind of like a redtail, but with dentures in it's mouth. Scarey!!
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Old 08-27-03, 02:30 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Silent Predators was pretty bad too...

it was about rattlesnakes, but they used carpet pythons as doubles for the rattlers when they were near the people
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Old 08-27-03, 02:33 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by SCReptiles
I have very bad news. BOA was much worse then Anaconda or python. In this one you have 80 boa on the lose at the South Pole. =) Yes, you heard me right. Running around in the coldest climate on earth.
Lmfao Did it breathe fire too? it must have had a polar bear fur coat to stay warm LOL
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Old 08-27-03, 02:36 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Ladies, I got 6 feet of pure terror for ya. .......oh man, that was corny.
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Old 08-27-03, 02:40 PM   #8 (permalink)
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must miss!!!

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Old 08-27-03, 02:43 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Ok- good researchers- I had a different cover in mind- I'll go to the store tonight and try to find it again... there is a "deadly" boa on the cover of some movie. If I do recall, it had it;s tounge sticking out too.
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Old 08-27-03, 02:44 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Just when you thought we could not make a worse movie then Python, we prove you wrong!
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Old 08-27-03, 02:58 PM   #11 (permalink)
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well its not a snake movie, but KOMODO is a lizard movie on radio-active or nuclear exposed, which enhanced komodo dragons to an outrageous size and hunger for human flesh, wasnt good at all....
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Old 08-27-03, 03:04 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I'm really glad some other people have seen these horrible flicks and I am going to track down the one about the antartic polar snake if it takes the rest of my life. I remember a really old one I saw, the name of which escapes me, but there was a scene with a snake that hipnotized people with it's glowing red LED eyes shining out of it's sock puppet like head from beneath a bed. Classic horror movie screaming follows. It was great.
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Old 08-27-03, 03:09 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Don't you just love the huge fangs on the cover of both BOA and PYTHON? My fricken gawd...

Ok, time for me to write a snake-based B-Movie. I'm going to call it:

KENYAN SAND BOA

Starring: Kevin Bacon, Keanu Reeves, and that guy from the Listerine commercials in the goofy listerine suit.

Plot: A 10 foot Kenyan Sand Boa with a craving for human flesh and McDonald's Chicken McNuggets lies waiting beneath the sands in the hoodoos of Drumheller, Alberta, waiting to strike terror into the hearts of tourists and native Alberta pygmies. Who can stop this 10 foot creature?

Keanu: "I know Kung Fu!"

Kevin: "I want to dance!"

Listerine Dweeb: "I'm going to name the sand boa Gingivitis! Let's get it.... AAAAAAAaaaaaargh!"

Sand Boa: *GULP*

Coming soon to a projection screen in a back alley near you!
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Old 08-27-03, 03:48 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Inv., that's brilliant! I love the casting choices...I wonder what Swayze is up to these days? Didn't you say you had a DV camera? If we can finalize a script I'm sure we could get an arts grant from the federal government. Oh, and we should try to get Denzel Washington to play a cop who has been taken off the Albertan Man Eating Boa case but persues it on his own anyway, with dangerous and sexy results. At the end of the movie it should be revealed that in fact it wasn't a snake after all but actually Ralph Klien, too drunk to get off his belly but still managing to slither about the province devouring the homeless, puking and shouting racist slogans. After Denzel reveals the truth a 20 minute wire fighting scene where Keanu and Swayze battle Klien and eventually overcome him and rid the province and the world of this menace. Ernie Eves could be featured in the sequel.
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Old 08-27-03, 04:11 PM   #15 (permalink)
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there was a movie called VENOMOUS, oh man that was messed. they actually had rattle snakes in some of the scenes. but most of the time they used carpet pythons. and for a kingsnake they used a black headed python. i think it would have been cheaper to use a king snake though, lol.
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