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Old 08-24-03, 07:06 PM   #1 (permalink)
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New Viruses

WARNING . . . Watch out for these new viruses -Neither Symantec or McAfee have any solutions for these yet!!!

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a 7-inch Hard Drive with NO memory.

The Bob Dole (aka Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 300 Mb hard drive shrinks to 100 Mb, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200 Mb.

The Jack Kevorkian Virus - Deletes all old files.

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

The Joey Buttafuoco Virus - Only attacks minor files.

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.

AND THE FAVORITE .

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy . . . then discards it through Windows.
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Old 08-24-03, 08:37 PM   #2 (permalink)
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LOL!!!!! Very cool.
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Old 08-25-03, 01:40 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Hmm....that post looks familar....LOL.
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"To truly rescue an animal one has to provide long-term care that guarantees the animal's security for its natural life, because rescuing is more than removing an animal from a bad situation. Rescue involves restoring and preserving the animal's dignity for its natural life without stress, and this includes conserving the species as a whole for generations to come." (Brian Werner, founder TMLF / TCWR)
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Old 08-25-03, 06:02 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Hahaha if that is a duplicate post i must have missed it the first time around, very funny
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Old 08-25-03, 08:12 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Totally laughing my a$$ off !! Am going to share that one for sure !!
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Old 08-25-03, 03:32 PM   #6 (permalink)
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No, I was poking fun at Snip3r, I posted that on another forum that he recently joined.
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"To truly rescue an animal one has to provide long-term care that guarantees the animal's security for its natural life, because rescuing is more than removing an animal from a bad situation. Rescue involves restoring and preserving the animal's dignity for its natural life without stress, and this includes conserving the species as a whole for generations to come." (Brian Werner, founder TMLF / TCWR)
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Old 08-25-03, 05:57 PM   #7 (permalink)
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You forgot the George Bush Jr virus. It reformats your computer pretending to be looking for other viruses and installs it's own operating system.
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Old 08-25-03, 06:12 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by JasonBrennan
No, I was poking fun at Snip3r, I posted that on another forum that he recently joined.

O yea..didn't notice it was yours...all props go to Jason...even tho my names Jason LoL JasonBrennan...Also those forums seem way too complicated...too many sections
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