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Old 07-31-03, 08:06 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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The Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands.

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's licence in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be over-reacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?

And my personal favorite...

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today!
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
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Old 07-31-03, 02:17 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Old 07-31-03, 03:10 PM   #3 (permalink)
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LMAO - sounds all too familiar although I think men should know when to stick with "Safest." LOL
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Old 07-31-03, 03:33 PM   #4 (permalink)
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ah, sigh.

Along those same lines, as anyone seen "Mr. Wonderful?" It's this stuffed toy in the shape of a man, and you squeeze his hand and he says things like, "Oh, gee, honey, can't your mother stay another week?" and "Honey, you look exhausted. Why don't you let me give you a nice, long foot massage?"
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~"Interestingly enough, the only thing the bowl of petunias thought was, 'Oh no, not again.'" --Douglas Adams~
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