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Old 07-05-03, 07:23 PM   #1 (permalink)
Join Date: Sep-2002
Location: newmarket, ont
Age: 40
Posts: 433
more english humour

ah i remember these ones, not the zinfandel one though oh or the white russian

“You get this one, next round is on me.”
We won’t be here long enough to get another round.
“I’ll get this one, next one is on you.”
Happy hour is about to end... drafts are now £1.50, but by the next round they’ll be £3.50 a pop.
“Hey, where is that friend of yours?”
I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.
(Female) “Can I get a glass of white zinfandel please?”
I’m easy.
(Male) “Can I get a glass of white zinfandel please?”
I’m gay.
(Male to Female) “Ever try a body shot?”
I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.
(Female to Male) “Ever try a body shot?”
If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I’ll do to you on the ride home?
(Female) “I don’t feel well, let’s go home.”
You are paying more attention to your friends than me.
(Male) “I don’t feel well, let’s go home.”
I’m horny.
“Who’s got the next round?”
I haven’t bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.
(Male to Male) “Excuse me.”
Get the hell out of the way.
(Male to Female) “Excuse me.”
I am going to grope you now.
(Female to Male) “Excuse me.”
Don’t even think about groping me, just get the hell out of the way.
(Female to Female) “Excuse me.”
Move your fat ***. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and don’t think for one minute that you are. Coming in here dressing like a wh*re... get your eyes off of my man, or I’ll slap you, b*tch, like the sl*t you are.
“What do you have on tap?”
What’s cheap?
(Male) “Can I have a white russian?”
I’m really gay.
(Female) “Can I have a white russian?”
I’m really easy.
“That person looks really familiar.”
Did I sleep with him/her?
(Female) “Can I just get a glass of water?”
I’m annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.
(Female) “I don’t have my ID on me.”
I’m 17.
(Male) “I don’t have my ID on me.”
I don’t have a license since I got pulled over and blew a 0.4 after my last visit here
In the kingdom of the blind, the one eyed man is king
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Old 07-06-03, 05:43 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jul-2002
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,355
Lol, good ones, Paul.
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Old 07-06-03, 05:52 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: Montreal
Age: 25
Posts: 1,340
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Hehe...those are great
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