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Old 06-23-03, 05:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Everything you wanted to know about Canada...

Hehe, thought some of these were funny. Admittedly I don't get a couple of them...

Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)


A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.


Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. . .

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North. Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. . . oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
A: You are an American politician, right?

Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the
brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by
spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
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Old 06-23-03, 05:25 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hahahaha that's really funny! Honestly, why does everyone think we have Polar bears just running around everwhere?
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Old 06-23-03, 06:43 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I can relate. You should of heard the questions I was asked when I previously worked in places like Texas & S. Africa. Its funny how wild & untamed we all are here in Canada, even the Africans thought so, LOL Mark I.
P.S. Yes many people believe we have nothing but snow & ice!
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Old 06-23-03, 06:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Reminds me of "This hour has 22 minutes" and some of the questions they ask people.
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Old 06-23-03, 06:57 PM   #5 (permalink)
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You forgot:
Q: Do Canadians really say "aboot"?
A: (I wanna know...)
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Old 06-23-03, 07:03 PM   #6 (permalink)
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They just had a funny story on the radio from a lady that works in the Infromation booth in Vernon BC. An American asked if he could be in Montreal in time for dinner. When I was working for an American company I was asked if New Foundland was beside BC. Ya ok Canada is a tiny little slip of land just big enough to land a plane on. Honestly maybe schools should have a world map as well as an American one then maybe just maybe people would learn about the rest of the world.
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Old 06-23-03, 07:15 PM   #7 (permalink)
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LMAO -- those are funny There were a few that didn't make sense to me either, but I'm sure that those are funny too if you know what they're referring to... LOL
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Old 06-23-03, 07:17 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Yeah I know!!!!! I HATE IT when im talking to some american and they are like..so what do you name your pet polar bear? Its so annoying, hey people our 30C is the same as your 90F. That means its not a winter wonder land all year round. Ugh it feels great to get that off my chest lol
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Old 06-23-03, 07:20 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Just a question... In american school do they teach you anything about Canada? In ours we learn a TON about you guys and I could name about 40 states. Just wonderin haha
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Old 06-23-03, 07:45 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Hey Madhatter they only say "aboot" usually East of Quebec eh. I say usually because I'm from Calgary & ya always get the "Newfies" "aboot" 'ere looking for work in the "patch" eh, LOL!
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Old 06-23-03, 08:44 PM   #11 (permalink)
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LOL....how true it is!
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Old 06-23-03, 08:46 PM   #12 (permalink)
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french candian breakfast

2 hotcake, 2 egg up sunny side, 2 toast all wet with butter, 2 milk in coffee all black, bacon on plate, dripping with grease

maybe if you read it it isnt funny, but if you hear my dad say it it is!
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Old 06-24-03, 06:53 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Canada Rules!
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Old 06-24-03, 07:38 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Those are good, I love it when americans ask stupid question it's so much fun to anwser
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Old 06-24-03, 09:24 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Actually in regards to the "aboot"
It is not just the nefies u know.
I speak with people from the US everyday and they can pick it up from me all of the time it is a sure hit that I am Canadian. I am definately not from Newfoundland.
Yes I get asked silly questions all of the time.
But it is just like some Canadians assuming that no where in the US gets snow, or they all say hu instead of eh.
Or they are all rude.
That is a funny post for sure. Got a good chuckle.
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