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Old 05-15-03, 06:55 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Exclamation HEALTH WARNING about S.L.O.P.S

The World Health Organisation today issued a new warning against non-essential travel to the entire Western hemisphere following renewed concerns about the spread of Severe Loss of Perspective Syndrome (SLOPS). Officials are warning travellers not to visit the UK, the US, almost all of Western Europe, and Canada, following further outbreaks of the disease, which has led to mass panic among the media, thousands of ecstatic children
being kept out of school by their credulous and moronic parents, and increased profits for DIY stores as the idiot public rush to bulk-buy face masks and boiler suits.

A WHO spokesman said, "You'd be much better off going to somewhere like Thailand or China, because all you've got to worry about there is SARS, and let's face it, you're about as likely to die from that as you are to get kicked to death by a gang of zombie nuns."

The SARS virus has now claimed a staggering 500 lives in only six months, which makes it considerably more deadly than, say, malaria, which only kills around 3000 people every single day. Malaria, however, mainly effects only darkies what speak foreign, whereas SARS has made at least one English person feel a bit iffy for a couple of days, and is therefore considered much more serious.

The spread of SLOPS has now reached pandemic proportions, with many high-level politicians seemingly affected by the disease. The rapid spread of SLOPS has been linked to the end of the war in Iraq and the need for Western leaders to give the public something to worry about. Otherwise, they might start asking uncomfortable questions about domestic issues, and that simply would not do.
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Old 05-15-03, 01:50 PM   #2 (permalink)
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PARANOIA NEED DESTROY YA! "LIFE ONLY HAS AS MANY PRESSURES AS YOU CREATE". AN INTERSTING POST, NUFF SAID. MARK I.

P.S. I WAS NOT AWARE OF THE "ZOMBIE NUN" THREAT. THX, YOU JUST GAVE ME SOMETHING ELSE TO WORRY ABOUT! LOL MARK I.
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Old 05-15-03, 02:25 PM   #3 (permalink)
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No!! That means that some dead nuns are gonna run after me and kill me....I WANT SARS! That was a very bad example since zombie nuns are just about the scariest thing in the world. How about this..."You have more chance of winning the lottery ten times in a row than dieing from SARS". Better?
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Old 05-18-03, 01:02 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Lol that about sums it up Renee.
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Old 05-18-03, 05:59 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Good points, however I doubt anyone who knows someone suffering from any of the above will find it amusing. That aside, the Sisterhood of the Undead will be calling! Stay calm!
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