border
sSNAKESs : Reptile Forum
 

Go Back   sSNAKESs : Reptile Forum > Community Forums > General Discussion

Notices

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-29-03, 08:29 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
beth wallbank's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar-2002
Location: in the mountains
Age: 46
Posts: 1,186
Country:
WOMEN....heeeheee

Had this sent to me, and oh man, is this true or what.....
Estrogen, Pregnancy and Women

PREGNANCY Q & A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but
pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in
labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

"ESTROGEN ISSUES"

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that
says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-"
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.


AND, the Number One thing only women understand:


1. OTHER WOMEN
beth wallbank is offline  
Login to remove ads
Old 04-29-03, 08:39 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
asphyxia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov-2002
Location: Newmarket, ON
Age: 56
Posts: 1,442
I dont get it, lol


Regards
Brian
__________________
Associated Serpents Inc.
The Green Mile-Rodent Feeders
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
asphyxia is offline  
Old 04-29-03, 10:12 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Nanashi04's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov-2002
Location: East Central Kansas
Age: 31
Posts: 603
Send a message via AIM to Nanashi04 Send a message via MSN to Nanashi04 Send a message via Yahoo to Nanashi04
Cute :P
__________________
On the other hand, you have differnt fingers.
Nanashi04 is offline  
Old 04-29-03, 10:47 AM   #4 (permalink)
Please Email Boots
 
Join Date: Mar-2005
Posts: 3,326
Country:
Hey I like having Air force ones ( Nikes) in different colors! Ecru? Tim
Tim and Julie B is offline  
Old 04-29-03, 11:52 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
jncoclub's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug-2002
Location: Oahu, Hawaii
Age: 39
Posts: 439
There are perfectly good reasons to have multiple shoes of the same style but in different colors. Different colored outfits require differnt colored shoes! Guys don't own just one pair of brown dress shoes, they also tend to own black. Girls just happen to be more colorful than black and brown. So there!
__________________
~ZGO~
I just found homes for my 4 snake ladies: ball python, colombian boa, hogg isle boa, and a burmese. *sniff* How I miss them so...

How do I set my laser printer to 'stun'?
jncoclub is offline  
Login to remove ads
Old 04-29-03, 12:12 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
nicola_boulton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar-2003
Location: England,notts
Age: 29
Posts: 673
Send a message via MSN to nicola_boulton Send a message via Yahoo to nicola_boulton
hehehe..... v.funny!
__________________
1.1 ball pythons, 1.1 anmel corns, 1.0. collard lizards, 1.1 pastle B.C.I's . 4 tropical fishes
nicola_boulton is offline  
Old 04-29-03, 12:58 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Shane Tesser's Avatar
 
Join Date: May-2002
Location: Ontario
Age: 43
Posts: 1,671
Country:
Thats hilarious Beth..lmao..perfect way to start of my work day
Shane Tesser is offline  
Old 04-29-03, 02:37 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
NewLineReptile's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar-2003
Location: Kingston Ontario
Age: 39
Posts: 1,808
Send a message via MSN to NewLineReptile
good one Beth LMAO!
__________________
NEW LINE REPTILE
Specializing in Large Pythons
Home of the "GIANTS"
newlinereptile@sympatico.ca
NewLineReptile is offline  
Old 04-29-03, 02:41 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Lisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun-2002
Location: Trenton
Posts: 6,075
Send a message via ICQ to Lisa Send a message via MSN to Lisa Send a message via Yahoo to Lisa
So true
__________________
Neo-Slither (Snake fanatic mailing list) http://<br /> http://groups.yahoo.c...p/Neo-Slither/

May you live in interesting times.
Lisa is offline  
Old 04-29-03, 07:03 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
damzookeeper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug-2002
Location: eastern Ontario (Alexandria)
Age: 43
Posts: 946
Send a message via MSN to damzookeeper
Re: WOMEN....heeeheee

Quote:
Originally posted by beth wallbank
Had this sent to me, and oh man, is this true or what.....
Estrogen, Pregnancy and Women



"ESTROGEN ISSUES"

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that
says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-"
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

Oh god, if 8 out of 10 of these pertain to me, what does that mean. lol.
Thanks for the laugh Beth, needed that.
__________________
Deb www.reptilerascals.com
Herps are like pringles, you can't stop at just one.
'believe me I know!!'
damzookeeper is offline  
Login to remove ads
Old 04-30-03, 05:37 AM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Feb-2003
Location: Toronto
Age: 36
Posts: 76
Re: Re: WOMEN....heeeheee

Quote:
Originally posted by damzookeeper
Oh god, if 8 out of 10 of these pertain to me, what does that mean. lol.
I'd say there is an 80% chance that you have estrogen issues.
dm101081 is offline  
Old 04-30-03, 06:20 AM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
makeajazznoise's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct-2002
Location: niagara region
Posts: 59
Send a message via Yahoo to makeajazznoise
to add to that one:

to add to that one

Subject: The Ladies' Room

A gentleman had a serious problem.

He had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but found it to be occupied. A lady noticed that he was walking funny, taking small steps, and with a look of pain and anxiety on his face.

"Sir," she said, "the ladies restroom is not occupied. You may use it if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall. He was about to pop, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms.

The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savoring the feeling, he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white buttons were identified by the letters: WW, WA, and PP, and there was one red button labeled ATR. Who would really know if he touched them?

He couldn't just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he pushed the WW button. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.

Such a nice feeling came over him.

The men's restroom didn't have nice things like this. Anticipating even greater pleasure, he pressed the WA button. Warm Air replaced the warm water, wafted and swirled about, gently drying his underside. He knew what he was going to do when the warm air stopped, and without hesitation, he pressed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom, adding a fragrant scent of spring flowers to his unbelievable pleasure. The ladies room was far more than a restroom; it was a place of tender loving pleasure!

He could hardly wait for the powder puff to quit. When it did, he pushed what he knew was going to be the ultimate joy!...

He knew he was in the hospital as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face. "What happened? How did I get here? last thing I remember, I was in the ladies restroom!"

You pushed too many buttons," replied the nurse, as her smirk expanded to a grin. That last button marked ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover.

Your ***** is under your pillow."
__________________
Information is not Knowledge, Knowledge is not Wisdom, Wisdom is not Truth, Truth is not Beauty, Beauty is not Love, Love is not Music, Music is the best

~F.Z.~
makeajazznoise is offline  
Old 04-30-03, 06:20 AM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
Emily-Fisher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan-2003
Location: Montreal
Age: 26
Posts: 1,340
Send a message via MSN to Emily-Fisher
What's estrogren?
__________________
EmilyFisher
Emily-Fisher is offline  
Old 04-30-03, 08:34 AM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
beth wallbank's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar-2002
Location: in the mountains
Age: 46
Posts: 1,186
Country:
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!HHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
RAOTFLMFAO!!!
that was too frigging funny!!
beth wallbank is offline  
Old 04-30-03, 01:53 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
Emily-Fisher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan-2003
Location: Montreal
Age: 26
Posts: 1,340
Send a message via MSN to Emily-Fisher
You guys are dirty. What's estrogen?
__________________
EmilyFisher
Emily-Fisher is offline  
Login to remove ads
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On




All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:09 PM.

Powered by vBulletin®
©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright © 2002-17, Hobby Solutions Inc.

right

SEO by vBSEO 3.1.0