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Old 04-11-03, 09:43 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Shower

How to shower like a WOMAN

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband
along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide
loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural
avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

10. Complain because your husband has been eating your ginger nut and jaffa
cake body wash.

11. Rinse conditioner off hair.

12. Shave armpits and legs.

13. Turn off shower.

14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

15. Get out of shower.

16. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

17. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

18. Check entire body for zits, tweeze unwanted hairs.

19. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

20. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a MAN

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at
her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener
and scratch your ***.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your face.

6. Wash your armpits.

7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.

8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in
the shower.

9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

11. Shampoo your hair.

12. Taste your wife's ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

13. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

14. Pee.

15. Rinse off and get out of shower.

16. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.

17. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

18. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

19. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull
off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

20. Throw wet towel on bed.
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Old 04-11-03, 09:48 AM   #2 (permalink)
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ther is my every day life well said XetoX
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Old 04-11-03, 10:23 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Wow ROFLMAO!!!!!!! You know what that is way to true and not only do they shake there wiener, but also do funny poses and other things.. Leave shaved facial hair in sink, dirty hand prints all over, and yeah talk about that pile of clothes.. OH MAN!!! hehehehehehe!!
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Old 04-11-03, 10:44 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Lol that's hilarious. Not entirely true for me but perhaps it will become more so if I ever get married. THanks for posting an old favorite.
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Old 04-11-03, 11:28 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I figured people would enjoy it, I will try to post some good comedy more often if everyone like that kind of thing!
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Old 04-11-03, 11:37 PM   #6 (permalink)
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My god I almost peed myslf laughing!!!
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Old 04-11-03, 11:57 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Shower

Quote:
Originally posted by Xetox
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at
her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

LMAO!!! Funny stuff!
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Old 04-12-03, 12:21 AM   #8 (permalink)
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LOLOL that is great although cause of it i just got introuble cause im supposed to be in bed and my aunt heard me laughing.
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Old 04-12-03, 12:07 PM   #9 (permalink)
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hheh! The sad part is, it seems mostly true... o.o;
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Old 04-12-03, 01:44 PM   #10 (permalink)
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hahahaha......woo woo.......ROTFFLMFAO!!!!
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Old 04-12-03, 02:51 PM   #11 (permalink)
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LOL...very cool
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Old 04-12-03, 03:17 PM   #12 (permalink)
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ROFLMFAO! That's hilarious! I'm just gonna have to train my husband like a dog... he's not gonna leave butt hair all over the soap

lol jk
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Old 04-12-03, 03:42 PM   #13 (permalink)
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im 14 and im not look 4ward 2 my husband doin that 2 me, thanks alot uve just ruined my whole love life................ only jkin!!!! funny stuff
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Old 04-12-03, 06:35 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Lol, that almost perfectly mirrors my own married life but in my experience the wiener-shaking sound was "Whoo-hoo" ala Homer Simpson. And my body was was usually dewberry or raspberry.
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Old 04-12-03, 06:55 PM   #15 (permalink)
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hahaha...make the "woo-woo" sound??? hahahaha thats was hilarious.
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