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Old 04-11-03, 07:11 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Uggggh! What is the deal.....

In another thread we were talking about people who buy reptiles on whims without knowing how to take care of them or doing research or whatever. I had mentioned a friend of mine that buys all kinds of reptiles without finding out how to care for them first. Well the ***** hit the fan yesterday. This kid, every other month I go to his house and I see something new, so far none of his animals have died so that's good I guess. He actually takes fairly good care of them. Anyway, Yesterday he announced that he can't AFFORD them anymore so he is getting rid of half of them. I know electricity is not the issue, I can't see it being that expensive to feed one bearded dragon, a couple of frogs and two turtles. He is also getting rid of his w/c garter by releasing it back into the wild. It's one thing to admit when you can't take care of an animal and find better homes for them but it really bugs me that he went out and bought all these animals in the first place without thinking ahead if he could handle them all. I'm really ripping p-oed about it. To make matters worse I had planned to give him a couple Leos when they hatch but I don't want to give them to someone who is going to get bored in 6 months and give them away.

Point of this post: Reptiles are a lifetime commitment people! Don't buy an animal you can't take care of for life! Don't buy so many animals that you can't take proper care of each one!

Dilemma: This kid is my boyfriend's best friend. My b/f doesn't really think this is a big deal or that i should be upset with him over it. But I don't know how I can look this guy in the eye again knowing he treats animals like toys. I just don't know if I can even be friends with him anymore, but my circle of friends is quite small and I'd like to stay friends with him. I don't know. Am I making too big a deal of this to let this get in the way of our friendship? Advice please.
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Old 04-11-03, 07:21 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Well, I honestly agree that animals shouldn't be purchased on a whim, being living creatures and all, but it's unlikely that they will remain lifelong companions like a dog would...or a cat, when they're reptiles.

Most herpers recognize reptiles and amphibians as a select group of non-social creatures. It's easier to want to trade them perhaps?

Also, if your friend is finding the financial aspect a burden, maybe he just needs to budget; any good at helping him there?

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Old 04-11-03, 07:28 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I go through this situation all the time.

I share a house with 6 other people. All of which are into reptiles/or animals. But the only one who is INTO reptiles like I am, is me. The rest enjoy reptiles, and care for theirs as best as they can.

But I am constantly saying things, giving advice and one of them is constantly doing things wrong. His Cham is not being treated poorly as some but not the best either. But after months of advice a person can only say so much. I have to make the choice of being the house nag, moving out, or remaining here and keeping my friendships intact.

I believe the only thing you can do is A. Not give him any animals. B. give him advice, but know you can't change another person. Unfortunatly there are people all over the world who do these things to animals but that doesn't mean we have to never speak to them again, you know?

What I do is try to give advice but if my roomate doesn't listen, when his birthday comes around or christmas, etc I give him a gift for his Cham. I.E. A new UV tube, vitamins, a heat lamp, a certificate to the pet store for a variety of bugs, etc. I find this helps. This way I don't have to be rude or a nag, and I can keep my friendships intact while helping the animal out.

That's the best solution I have found

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Old 04-11-03, 10:17 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Thanks guys. Great advice Marissa! Thank you! I always consider my herps lifelong companions. I guess not everyone does. :/
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Old 04-11-03, 12:27 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Update: It's worse than I thought. I talked to him today and he said the beardie was costing him 30-40 dollars a week to feed. Guess those crix were covered in gold. He released the garter back to the wild but did not even attempt to put the garter back where he found it. Since getting rid of most of his herps, he bought another corn to house with his current corn, without quarantine. he plans to BREED THEM! But he has no idea how to breed them but he says he has a year to figure that out. Like the male is going to wait a year to mack it with the female, the female gets gravid too young...you know the story. I asked him how he expects to house and feed 15-30 young if he can't feed one beardie. He is truly an idiot and quite far gone. He has no idea what he is doing. *lowers head in disgust*. I don't know how much more of this I can take.
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Old 04-11-03, 05:00 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I doubt the baby's would live if he treats his animals like that If you ask me he needs a smack in the head
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Old 04-11-03, 05:32 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I feel that you should do your homework on the reptile before you even think of going into a pet store and take a look. Thats the reason for all the unwanted reptlies around.


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Old 04-11-03, 10:08 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I agree that reptiles should be a lifelong commitment, after all, if everyone went out and got a new cat, dog, bird or whatever, every week someone would step in and complain and then they'd lose all their animals because they'd be taken away. Like the crazy cat lady that my friend once knew. The problem is that people don't see reptiles as they do puppies and kitties, and that is something Tim and myself try to educate people about all the time. It's a slow and laborious cause that offers so much reward if only one person realizes what we're trying to accomplish. I'm sooooooooooooo glad that most of the people on this forum know what is right and what is wrong when it comes to our beloved exotic pets.LOL.
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Old 04-12-03, 09:50 AM   #9 (permalink)
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If people were to be lambasted for getting rid of reptiles and amphibians, how many of the people on this forum would fall into that category?

As long as a herp is well cared for and treated with respect, there's no reason to see trading or selling it off as such a negative thing. I believe they're qualitatively different from say, dogs and cats.

Although I agree that plenty of research and foresight would cut down on the 'revolving door' thing you seem to be referring to. As an exception, the only thing that bugs me is crocodilians and chelonians.

I think too many people think they're going to make a big commitment to animals like sulcata tortoises and caimans, without taking into account things like:

a) specialized dietary/environmental needs
b) huge requirements for space
c) long term suitability
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Old 04-12-03, 11:14 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Well another point is that people dont buy reps as companions you buy a rep out of fascination and wanting to nurture somthing more exotic but when some one realizes that some animals are to exotic they simply toss them out and try another herp that is what makes me the most mad I myself have only two geckos one who im quite woried about becuse he seems to have some kind of parkinsons desease when I draw near him I dont know if this is fear or a desease well any ways that kid needs some eduction he sounds like an ignorant hick to me give him a smack for me
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Old 04-12-03, 03:49 PM   #11 (permalink)
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This kind of situation is often unfortunate Alice...:S....I remember when I was younger I kept fish, as did my friend.
I had books and spent a ton of time learning about them and watching them, while she bought the tropical fish on a whim because they were 'cute' and they died a few days later because she kept them in bowls and over fed them :S

When she started keeping herps (an anole first), I felt really helpless because I knew it couldn't be getting the care it needed....I'd always offer tips and stress that she needed to learn more, but in the end I was ignored, or told "geez, Heather, it's just a lizard''....

You REALLY have to get your point across, even though it's awkward because you don't know him well....you could also let your b/f know how this is really getting on your nerves, maybe he can say something. Drop hints, get the guy a herp book for Christmas :P...just make him understand that he needs to take it seriously and always be prepared to take full care his animals, as they are living breathing creatures who depend on him.

Be happy that your herps are loved and are lucky to have a caring and educated mom like you
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Old 04-14-03, 08:32 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I had a loooooong talk with him and i feel a little better about the situation. He traded the beardie for the cornsnake with a breeder friend of his. Apparantly the two corns he has will make some nice Morphs and the breeder is going to buy all the babies from him. I still don't think it's the best idea because I don't think he knows the first thing about breeding but the corns have not been brumated so hopefully they wont mate to begin with. He didn't believe me that the garter he released in his back yard was probably hawk food by now but eventually he said, well then the bird gets to live another day. It really amazed me that he could have such a positive outlook. I think it's the best was to think about it since there is nothing he can do about it now. I have him the lifelong commitment speech and it seemed to get through to him. And I told him next time he is having trouble being able to feed an animal or something like that to not be hasty and I'd help him brainstorm ideas to work it out. He does take good care of his animals so I guess it's not a horrible thing if he decides someone else can take better care of them than he can.
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