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Old 02-25-03, 08:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
McPatch's Avatar
Join Date: Jul-2002
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 439

Just in case you know someone traveling to Alberta... Here is a list
of rules that will be handed to everyone entering Our fine Province!! (some
scream 'Redneck'... sad, but true!!)
~ K
1. That slope-shouldered farm boy you are snickering at did more work
before breakfast than you will do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your BMW. I have a 4-wheel drive because I need it. Now
drive or get it out of the way .
3.We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine-years-old.
Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to "grain fed" when talking about our women will get
your butt our women.
5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around. You look like an
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their
final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to
your ear at the time.
7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order
it rare or order the chefs salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and
8. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes unsweetened in a glass with two
packets of sugar and a long spoon.
9. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over ice.
10. So you have a sixty-thousand-dollar car. We're real impressed. We
have quarter-million-dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.
11. Let's get this straight. We may have one stoplight in town. We
stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks because they want to. So,
you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
13. Yeah, we eat trout, Northern, walleye, and pike, too. If you
really want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait shop.
14. They are pigs and cows. That's what they smell like. Get over it.
Don't like it? Highways #1,#2 and #16 go two ways - get on one of them.
15. The "Opener" refers to the first days of fishing and deer season.
They are religious holidays. You can get breakfast at the church.
16. So what if every person in every pick-up waves? It's called being
friendly. Understand the concept?
17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit into the water hazards. It
spooks the fish. And stay out of the woods, that spooks the deer.

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Old 02-25-03, 08:33 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Louisville, KY
Age: 49
Posts: 939

I'm still trying to figure out why the heck a California Pizza Kitchen is in KY, LOL
Just keep walking and ignore the monkeys...

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Old 02-25-03, 08:47 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: Orleans
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LOL ahaha Mmmm I want some coke now...

Everytime that I look at myself I can't believe how awesome I am.
...The first rule of journalism is: Don't talk about journalism... or was that Fight Club?
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Old 02-25-03, 09:12 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Victoria, BC
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Hehe That was cute...
Herp Haven Reptiles - Quality Captive Bred Herps

Gecko Haven
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Old 02-25-03, 11:05 PM   #5 (permalink)
Join Date: Sep-2002
Location: Victoria,BC, Canada
Age: 29
Posts: 532
Lol, Fantastic! My gran lives in Calgary, and we drive to Sylvan Lake (where she used to like) every year, and it is so redneck, on the drive there, and there. I love that though! so true...
Dan Conner
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Old 02-26-03, 06:58 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Join Date: Feb-2002
Location: Burnt River, Ontario
Age: 42
Posts: 225
I have alot of family in Calgary.
Since moving to Ontario from the Okanagan Valley 4 years's to far to haul my horse...damit!!!....or I'd be running the barrels every year! Calgary really is a GREAT city
Teresa Wittig
Quality Designer Leopard Geckos, Corn Snakes and more!
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Old 02-26-03, 10:54 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Edmonton, Alberta
Age: 41
Posts: 1,853
Good one....

If you end up in Sask...look out for this car
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If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.
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Old 02-26-03, 03:56 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: Ontario
Age: 52
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that was great - some good ole Canadian redneck stuff
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Old 02-26-03, 04:16 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: Victoria
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hahaha!! that car kicksa$$!
Pete and Jess share their home with -
0.1 Suriname Redtail Boa,1.1 Brazilian Rainbow Boas, 1.0 Ball Python, 1.0 Savannah Monitor, 2.2 Bearded Dragons, 0.1 Veiled Chameleon, 0.1 Leopard Gecko, 0.1 Smooth sided toad.
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Old 02-26-03, 04:55 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Location: Leader, SK
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LOL! You guys are hysterical!
The Herp Room

"The day I tried to live, I wallowed in the blood and mud with all the other pigs" - C. Cornell
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