Just in case you know someone traveling to Alberta... Here is a list
of rules that will be handed to everyone entering Our fine Province!! (some
scream 'Redneck'... sad, but true!!)
1. That slope-shouldered farm boy you are snickering at did more work
before breakfast than you will do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your BMW. I have a 4-wheel drive because I need it. Now
drive or get it out of the way .
3.We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine-years-old.
Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to "grain fed" when talking about our women will get
your butt kicked...by our women.
5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around. You look like an
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their
final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to
your ear at the time.
7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order
it rare or order the chefs salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and
8. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes unsweetened in a glass with two
packets of sugar and a long spoon.
9. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
10. So you have a sixty-thousand-dollar car. We're real impressed. We
have quarter-million-dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.
11. Let's get this straight. We may have one stoplight in town. We
stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks because they want to. So,
you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
13. Yeah, we eat trout, Northern, walleye, and pike, too. If you
really want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait shop.
14. They are pigs and cows. That's what they smell like. Get over it.
Don't like it? Highways #1,#2 and #16 go two ways - get on one of them.
15. The "Opener" refers to the first days of fishing and deer season.
They are religious holidays. You can get breakfast at the church.
16. So what if every person in every pick-up waves? It's called being
friendly. Understand the concept?
17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit into the water hazards. It
spooks the fish. And stay out of the woods, that spooks the deer.