View Single Post
Old 12-28-03, 04:56 PM   #11 (permalink)
Join Date: Mar-2003
Location: Ontario Canada
Age: 56
Posts: 1,485
Years pass, but still things remain the same.
This is an old problem that has confronted herpers in relationships forever.
My wife really has no use for my reptiles and doesn't even keep track of what I am working with from one year to another.
I had herps when I met her and I still have both her and herps, a quarter century later, but it's been touch and go on occasion.
She isn't really herp negative, just herp neutral, but its very much ONLY my hobby/business.
She has nothing to do with it, and wont even attend shows with me. It can be both painfull and nice.
My obsession has caused major problems in the past, as it really is an addiction and potentially quite damaging. Self Admission of the problem is the first step in correction, and seeking a balance.
I actually think it's better when an addicted herper(or other creature lover) is hooked up with someone who couldn't care less. This allows contrasts in viewpoints, which leads inturn to some serious introspection and this eventually allows a sort of balance to prevail.
Herpers that are involved with herpers frequently end up melting down, as they sometimes power each others addiction frequently to ruin, just like two gamblers or two substance abusers.
There are a very few that seem to survive, like Bill and Kathy Love and the Barkers, but the list of busted up herpers, is much longer.
Herpers and other animal obsessives traditionally are very poor at human relationships. The reason is simple. We can, at times, have little else on our minds and that doesn't leave much room for relationship building and maintenance.
If your boyfriend is hanging up on you, I suspect, he's near the end of his rope, and is probably suffering from lack of maintenance and feels
like an outsider in your world that perhaps affords too little time for him.
Have a good heart to heart with him, and see if I'm right
I've been there, and still am, as I sit her thawing mice and typing on this damn box while she's upstairs watching designer guys!
Uncle Roy
Herpetology - more than a hobby
It's a Lifestyle
celebrating 26 years of herp breeding
Stockwell is offline