View Single Post
Old 09-18-02, 11:19 PM   #1 (permalink)
SilverTongue's Avatar
Join Date: Jul-2002
Location: ClearLake, Texas
Age: 42
Posts: 1,185
Send a message via Yahoo to SilverTongue

Never let it be said that Australian ground crews and engineers lack a
sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by
QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics.

P stands for the Problem the pilots entered in the log, and S stands for
the Corrective Action taken by the mechanics.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacements.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievable loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined
airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
SilverTongue: )~<

My webpage in progress!

Join Herps Mailing List!

"If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man but deteriorate the cat."
Mark Twain
SilverTongue is offline  
Login to remove ads