Alexpan: shrink is slang for psychiatrist. Like I said before, you need to see one.
As for self envenomation this should be done under strict observation by a doctor. You're talking about injecting a lethal poison into your body. There's side effects that you have to worry about as well. And then there's the stress on the snake. Why hurt the snake so you can have the thrill of milking it since you obviously can't do anything with the venom? This is called animal abuse and hopefully the animal fights back at you.
If all the experts are telling you you're doing something stupid wouldn't you agree you're doing something stupid?