Did you say anything to her about the snakes escaping the first couple of times it happened?
I would have certainly said something after the first time! Even about picking a snake up without asking first. It's basic respect to ask first and I would be extra paranoid about someone who knew nothing about snakes!
I'm really sorry to hear about your IJ still being missing... That person would definitely not be a "friend" in my book especially from the reaction after you told her!
I think you can do without a nincompoop like that.
Keeper of 5 snakes, leopard geckos, 1 green iguana, 20+ tarantulas, 2 dogs & a bunch of rats!