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Old 08-28-03, 12:24 PM   #19 (permalink)
"Red-eye"_Matt's Avatar
Join Date: Jan-2003
Location: Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
Age: 34
Posts: 163
That is an awesome picture. It reminds me of an email my girlfriends dad sent me. I have pasted it below.


"Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in

He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.

She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne,
Indiana, which was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue, just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office.

I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I
would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you
with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.

I wear a suit to the office.

It's a wetsuit.

This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep
warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.

It heats it to a delightful temperature.

It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which
is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several
times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take
the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit.

This floods my whole suit with warm water.

It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to

So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds my butt started to burn.

I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.

In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it
into my suit.

Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it.

However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the

His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with
five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could
reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my
brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me
to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't use the bathroom for
two days because my butt was swollen.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how
much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your
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