Don't you just love the huge fangs on the cover of both BOA and PYTHON? My fricken gawd...
Ok, time for me to write a snake-based B-Movie. I'm going to call it:
KENYAN SAND BOA
Starring: Kevin Bacon, Keanu Reeves, and that guy from the Listerine commercials in the goofy listerine suit.
Plot: A 10 foot Kenyan Sand Boa with a craving for human flesh and McDonald's Chicken McNuggets lies waiting beneath the sands in the hoodoos of Drumheller, Alberta, waiting to strike terror into the hearts of tourists and native Alberta pygmies. Who can stop this 10 foot creature?
Keanu: "I know Kung Fu!"
Kevin: "I want to dance!"
Listerine Dweeb: "I'm going to name the sand boa Gingivitis! Let's get it.... AAAAAAAaaaaaargh!"
Sand Boa: *GULP*
Coming soon to a projection screen in a back alley near you!
- Ken LePage