Thread: Application
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Old 08-22-03, 01:25 AM   #1 (permalink)
HetForHuman
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Join Date: Apr-2003
Location: Taber,Alberta,Canada
Age: 40
Posts: 1,815
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Application

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NAME________________________ DATE OF BIRTH______________

HEIGHT________ WEIGHT__________ IQ________ GPA__________

SOCIAL SECURITY #________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #__________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_______________________________

HOME ADDRESS___________________ CITY/STATE__________ ZIP_____

Do you have ONE male and ONE female parent? ___________________________

If NO, please explain ____________________________________________

__________________________________________________ _________

Number of years they have been married _______________________________

If less than your age, explain _______________________________________

__________________________________________________ __________

Do you own a van? _______________

A truck with oversized tires? _______________

A waterbed? _______________

A pickup with a mattress in the back? _______________

A condom? _______________

Pornography? _______________

Do you have earring, nose ring, or a belly button ring? _______________

A tattoo? _______________

(IF YES TO THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES)

In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?_______________________

__________________________________________________ ________

__________________________________________________ ________

In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER, mean to you?

__________________________________________________ _______

__________________________________________________ _______

In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?

__________________________________________________ _______

__________________________________________________ _______

Church you attend __________________________________________________ ____

How often you attend __________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

priest? _____________


Answer by filling in the blank.
Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.


A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

__________________________________________________ ______


B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

__________________________________________________ ________


C: A woman's place is in the:

__________________________________________________ _______


D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

__________________________________________________ ________


E: When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is:

__________________________________________________ ________

NOTE: if answer E begins with T or A, discontinue.
Leaving premises keeping your head low and running
in a serpentine fashion is advised.


What do you want to do IF you grow up? ______________________________

__________________________________________________ ________

__________________________________________________ ________


What is the current going rate of a hotel room? _____________________

Condoms come in packages of (circle one)

A: 3
B: 6
C: 9
D: 12
E: ALL OF THE ABOVE

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE
BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE
AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER
TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


_______________________________________

Signature (that means sign your name moron)
__________________
[10:12pm]@ [Matt] he's all up in there like swimwear.
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