"you Might Be A Herper If..."
hehe thought this was funny
"YOU MIGHT BE A HERPER IF..."
Your local power plant knows the exact moment your timers go off!
You've bred rabbits for 15 years, yet have no idea what their average life span is.
You hear someone describing their new high-resolution 20" monitor and wonder if it's Australian or Indonesian.
The neighborhood animals start disappearing as your Green 'Conda passes the 200-lb mark.
You answer the door holding a big fat snake & wonder why the Jehovah's Witnesses won't talk with you.
Your snakes spend more time in your bathtub than you do!
You check the "free to good home" ads daily, yet have no desire to own a mammal.
Your house was raided by the police after a tipoff from the electric company suspecting you of growing pot.
You and a friend are overheard talking about your babies & someone asks about them, and you reply "yeah, my 'baby' is 15' long & weighs around 125 pounds!!!"
You have a special drawer to keep perfect sheds in.
Your friends ask you when the last time you scored was & you reply "Man, it was great! This guy sold me an 8' female Colombian & the 125 L for dirt just in time for breeding season," and they look at you like "WHAT THE HELL are you talking about?!?!"
Your fellow herper asks you to lend him some rats... and the next day you come home & find two dead, decomposing rats on your doorstep with a little note saying "Thanks, I didn't need these after all!"
Your freezer is full but the kids whine that there's nothing to eat!
You're the customer at the pet store but answer all the herp questions.
You ask to borrow your friend's pet tree frog to rub a mouse on for that picky feeder.
You overhear someone talking about monitors and you wonder what species they're discussing....you know your varanids, your favorite is the Crocodile Monitor - computers never even come to mind!
"A monk was traveling and came to a fork in the road. He stopped, looked at it and decided to leave it there for someone else to ponder, someone who may need it, for his own spoon was quite sufficient."